BigSaltyDog

The Govna's Great Kitchen Disaster Chapter 2 – Everything Is Perfect After two days of hard work, endless painting, fitting cupboards, fixing tiles, moving appliances and dealing with more unexpected problems than anyone could possibly imagine, The Govna's kitchen was finally finished. Well… Almost finished. But to The Govna, it was perfect. He stood proudly in the middle of his newly renovated kitchen, wearing his red tracksuit, his Govna cap and an enormous smile. He looked around slowly. He had worked incredibly hard. There had been plenty of moments when things hadn't gone according to plan. There had been broken tiles, crooked cupboards, mysterious electrical problems, paint everywhere and several occasions when Salty had seriously considered calling a professional. But The Govna hadn't given up. Every time something went wrong, he had rolled up his sleeves and tried again. He wanted the kitchen to be somewhere everyone could enjoy. Somewhere warm. Some...

The Govna's Great Kitchen Disaster There are some jobs in life that should always be left to professionals. Plumbing. Electrics. Roofing. Brain surgery. And decorating a kitchen when you have absolutely no idea what you're doing. Unfortunately, nobody had told the Govna. It was a beautiful Saturday morning when the Govna wandered into his kitchen, looked around for approximately seven seconds and made an announcement that would change the lives of everyone in the Salty Gang. “Right. I've had enough.” From the sitting room came a voice. “Had enough of what?” “The kitchen.” There was silence. Then Salty appeared. “What about it?” “It's boring.” Salty looked around. The kitchen looked perfectly normal. The cupboards were fine. The cooker worked. The fridge was working. The kettle was slightly ancient but still capable of producing boiling water. “What are you planning?” The Govna puffed out his chest. “I'm redecorating it.” Salty immediately knew this was g...

🎃 The BigSaltyDog Halloween Special – The Misfits Go Haunted It was Halloween night. The wind was howling. The trees were moving. The moon was shining through the clouds. And somewhere in the distance, a dog barked. Stg. Salty looked out of the window. “This is it,” he said. Sarah looked up from the sofa. “What is?” “Halloween.” “Yes, Salty. I’m aware of the date.” “No, no. I mean proper Halloween. The sort where strange things happen.” Susan walked into the room carrying a cup of tea. “Something strange has already happened.” Salty turned around. “What?” “You've been quiet for nearly five minutes.” There was silence. Salty looked offended. “That’s not funny.” “It was a little funny,” said Sarah. The Misfits had gathered at Salty headquarters for what had been advertised as a quiet Halloween evening. That was their first mistake. There had never been a quiet evening involving the Misfits. The plan was simple. Pumpkins. A few decorations. Some Halloween food. A scary fi...

Ireland v Israel – The Football Match That Somehow Became a Full-Scale Salty Operation Ireland v Israel - The Football Match That Somehow Became a Full-Scale Salty Operation Stg. Salty, the Misfits and the Most Complicated Football Match in Ireland Welcome to Ireland v Israel. The Republic of Ireland face Israel in the UEFA Nations League on Sunday, 27 September, with the match being played at the Nagyerdei Stadion in Debrecen, Hungary. Kick-off is 7.45pm Irish time. Ireland arrive in Hungary after losing 1-0 to Kosovo in their opening Nations League match, while Israel also lost their opening fixture, going down 3-1 to Austria. So, purely from a footballing perspective, both teams have something to prove. Unfortunately, this is not purely a footballing story. Not even remotely. The fixture has become surrounded by political debate, controversy, strong opinions, player discussions, security considerations and enough arguments to keep social media occupied until Christmas. T...

✈️ STG. SALTY AND THE GREAT AER LINGUS REDUNDANCY INVESTIGATION BigSaltyDog Special Report. There are some news stories that you read once and carry on with your day. Then there are stories that make you put your coffee down, stare into the distance and question the entire future of international travel. For Stg. Salty, the latest Aer Lingus redundancy news somehow became the second type. He was sitting at the kitchen table, enjoying a quiet coffee, when he came across the reports about Aer Lingus and its proposed redundancy arrangements for head office staff. He read the article carefully. He read it again. He frowned. Then he slowly put down his coffee. “This could be a problem.” Nobody in the room reacted. Salty looked around. Whizzley was eating toast. Govna was scrolling through his phone. Ye Olde Large Lad was studying a clipboard as though he had just been appointed Chief of Military Administration. Sarah was sitting on the sofa. Susan was reading a magazine. Salty cleared his t...