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Russell Brand not guilty in a court of salty law

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Stg. Salty and the Misfits delivering their own verdict. It’s written as fictional satire, not a claim about the real court proceedings.  ⚖️ THE MISFITS FIND RUSSELL BRAND NOT GUILTY! Stg. Salty’s Court of Absolute Nonsense Delivers Its Verdict! There are courts of law, courts of appeal, and then there is the highly questionable justice system of Saltyville, where the wigs are crooked, the paperwork has gone missing, and the judge has already asked where the tea and biscuits are. This particular morning, Stg. Salty had decided that the Misfits needed to settle an important matter. Russell Brand had been dominating the headlines, and everyone seemed to have an opinion. “Right, lads and ladies,” announced Salty, banging an old wooden spoon against the table. “Today, we shall conduct our own trial. And before anybody asks, no, we haven't got a proper courtroom. The community hall will have to do.” Quags immediately objected. “Is this legally binding?” “Of course not,” repl...
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The misfits, Kristen Bell and Summer Glau

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🍻 THE MISFITS, KRISTEN BELL & SUMMER GLAU! When Hollywood Comes to Saltyville, Absolutely Nobody Gets Any Sleep! 😂❤️ An exclusive BigSaltyDog adventure featuring Stg. Salty, Kristen Bell, Summer Glau and the Charming Misfits! Welcome to Saltyville. Stg. Salty was enjoying a peaceful afternoon at Misfits HQ when Kristen Bell announced she was joining Sarah and Susan for a night on the town. Sarah nearly dropped her handbag. Susan let out a squeal that could have shattered windows in three counties. "KRISTEN, WE'RE ACTUALLY GOING OUT WITH YOU TONIGHT?" Sarah exclaimed. Kristen laughed. "Of course! What's the worst that could happen?" From the kitchen came a tremendous crash, followed by Govna shouting, "EVERYTHING'S FINE!" Salty slowly lowered his newspaper. "Kristen, sweetheart, that's the first question nobody should ever ask around here." 🍸 Chapter One: The Great Tour Guide Competition McFinleyyy and Quags had ...
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Kristen Bell signs for the Salty team

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🚨 THE MISFITS MEET KRISTEN BELL – NOBODY SAW THIS COMING! 💕🤩 An Exclusive BigSaltyDog Story 🐕🧂 It was a quiet Thursday morning in Saltyville. Stg. Salty was sitting in his favourite armchair, reading the newspaper and enjoying a nice cup of coffee, when McFinleyyy burst through the door like a man who had just discovered free pints for life. McFinleyyy: "QUAGS! GET YOURSELF IN HERE! YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BELIEVE THIS!" Quags wandered in, carrying a packet of biscuits. Quags: "What is it now? Has Govna finally learned how to use a screwdriver without flooding his kitchen?" McFinleyyy: "Better! KRISTEN BELL IS IN TOWN!" There was a moment of absolute silence. McFinleyyy and Quags slowly turned towards each other. They exchanged a look. Then, simultaneously, they shouted: "YEEESSSSS!" 🤩❤️ Quags nearly dropped his biscuits. Quags: "Kristen Bell? MY Kristen Bell? The woman from Heroes? Mate, I absolutely loved her in that! And...
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Bread truck causes A1 motorway to shut

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🥖 THE GREAT A1 BREAD JAM! Stg. Salty and the Misfits discover that Britain's motorway network has finally gone stale! Stg. Salty was enjoying a peaceful morning with a steaming cup of tea when he opened the newspaper and nearly choked on his biscuit. BREAKING NEWS: A1 MOTORWAY SHUT AFTER BREAD TRUCK SPILLS ITS LOAD! Salty lowered his newspaper. "You're having me on. The country's motorway network has ground to a halt because somebody's lost their loaf?" Unfortunately, the Misfits had already gathered around the kitchen table, and Govna was warming up. "BREAKING NEWS!" Govna announced, standing on a chair. "Traffic's at a standstill because the bread has been spread across the road!" Dannyboy nearly fell off his seat laughing. "Don't worry, lads! They'll get things rolling again once they butter up the situation!" Salty stared at them over his newspaper. "That's two puns before breakfast. Keep this...
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Ye olde Large Lad goes to Spain

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☀️ YE OLDE LARGE LAD GOES SOUTH — THE MISFITS IN SPAIN! 🍹❤️ Mid-Term Break, Mediterranean Sunshine and One Very Thirsty Govna! After weeks of miserable Irish weather, Ye Olde Large Lad had finally reached breaking point. Rain hammered against his window, the wind howled like a banshee, and his garden furniture had travelled halfway down the street. “That's it!” he declared. “I'm off to southern Spain. Sun, swimming pools, cold drinks and beautiful scenery. Life's too short to spend mid-term break looking like a drowned rat!” Within minutes, the flights were booked. Unfortunately, someone mentioned the words holiday and free bar in the Misfits WhatsApp group. Within an hour, the entire gang had invited themselves. McFinleyyy packed his sunglasses, Quags brought enough sun cream to protect a small village, and Whizzley arrived at the airport convinced he'd found a shortcut through security. Winkz brought a suitcase full of clothes he probably wouldn't wea...
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Sydney Sweeney having a coffee with the misfits

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☕ THE FULL MISFITS ASSEMBLE — SYDNEY MEETS THE MADNESS! 😂 Stg. Salty had made one fatal mistake. He'd told the Misfits that Sydney Sweeney was having coffee with him. Within twenty minutes, the entire crew had descended on the café. **Ye Olde Large Lad** arrived in his Hawaiian shirt, immediately asking whether the café did all-day breakfasts. **McFinleyyy** was already plotting a prank on Quags, while **Quags** insisted he'd learned from previous mistakes and wasn't falling for anything today. "That's what you said last time," McFinleyyy reminded him. "Last time was different!" "How?" "I was less suspicious!" **Whizzley** was attempting to organise a group selfie, although nobody could understand his instructions. **Winkz** was quietly observing the chaos, already storing away material for future blackmail. **Dinkz** arrived with a plan to organise the whole gathering efficiently, only to discover that Salty had appo...
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WhizzAir runs the Dublin marathon

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WhizzAir Conquers the Dublin Marathon: Three Hours of Glory! There are moments in life when a man must stand tall, look adversity directly in the eye and ask himself one simple question. Have I got what it takes? For WhizzAir, that moment had arrived. After months of relentless training, early morning runs, gruelling sessions in the rain and enough determination to make a seasoned Olympic athlete nervous, WhizzAir was ready to take on the Dublin Marathon. Twenty-six miles of punishing roads lay ahead. Thousands of runners would line up alongside him, but WhizzAir wasn't there simply to participate. He was there to prove something. And watching from the sidelines were Stg. Salty and the Misfits, ready to witness what promised to be one of the greatest sporting spectacles in the history of the capital. The Leopard 2 tank had even been brought along for moral support, although Salty insisted it was purely coincidental that it was parked near the refreshments tent. "Lo...
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