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The Govnas Birthday party

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🎂 THE GOVNA’S BIRTHDAY: BRING ON THE LADIES! 🎉 Stg. Salty and the Misfits Throw the Most Disastrous Birthday Party in History! BigSaltyDog – Where the beer is cold, the ladies are gorgeous, and nobody is allowed near the kitchen after midnight. There are birthdays, there are milestone birthdays, and then there are birthdays organised by Stg. Salty and the Misfits. Unfortunately for the Govna, his birthday had landed in the hands of a gang of men who considered a shopping list to be advanced mathematics, a party budget to be a personal insult, and the phrase “keep it sensible this year” to be an open invitation to do precisely the opposite. The Govna was turning another year older, although nobody could agree on exactly how old he was. Big Al reckoned he was somewhere between fifty and seventy. McFinleyyy claimed the Govna had been old when he was born. Ye Olde Large Lad reckoned the Govna had personally witnessed the invention of the wheel and had complained that the firs...
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Get the beers in, chapter 3

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 Stg. Salty Announces His New Cabinet — The Misfits Take Over! Ireland woke up expecting another ordinary day in politics, but Stg. Salty had other ideas. By lunchtime, he had appointed an entire cabinet, handed out some of the biggest jobs in the country, and left Big Al wondering who was going to pay for it all. The Get the Beers In Party was moving forward at a frightening pace. Its manifesto had been published online, although nobody was entirely sure how many people had read it. The party's slogan was appearing on social media, the Misfits were arguing about campaign merchandise, and the Govna had insisted that every official meeting should provide tea, coffee and biscuits. Now there was only one thing left to do. Form a government. Stg. Salty arrived at Misfits HQ wearing his best suit, a freshly ironed shirt and the expression of a man who had just been told he was important. Behind him, Dinkz had arranged a large banner reading: **THE GET THE BEERS IN PARTY — AN...
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Chapter 2 Get the Beers in

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Here’s Post 2 of 8 in the BigSaltyDog political comedy series! 🍻 This one introduces the party manifesto, with plenty of Misfits madness, fresh jokes, a strong finish, and the SEO details ready for Blogger. The Manifesto That Nobody Read — Stg. Salty's Plan to Save Ireland! Ireland has seen some unusual political promises over the years, but none quite like the ones Stg. Salty was about to unleash. The Get the Beers In Party had officially arrived, and thanks to Dinkz posting a photograph online, the movement was already attracting attention. Unfortunately, nobody had bothered to write down what the party actually stood for. This was beginning to concern Big Al, who had been trying to prepare a budget based on a starting fund of €47.60, two packets of biscuits and a jam jar full of loose change. "We need a manifesto," he announced at Misfits HQ. "Something people can read. Something that explains our policies. Something that tells the public what we'...
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Get the Beers in

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The Get the Beers In Party Is Born! — Stg. Salty Has Had Enough! Ireland has a new political movement, a questionable leader, and absolutely no chance of a quiet life. There comes a moment in every nation's history when ordinary people look at the state of things and ask themselves one simple question. Can it honestly get any worse? Stg. Salty had been asking that question for years. Unfortunately, he had finally decided to do something about it. It all began on an otherwise peaceful afternoon at Misfits HQ, where the gang had gathered to discuss the usual important matters: who had eaten the last packet of crisps, why the kettle was making a noise like a dying tractor, and whether anybody had seen Captain Morgan's missing bottle opener. Then the television news came on. Within thirty seconds, Salty was standing in front of the screen, pointing at it as though the newsreader had personally insulted his mother. "Look at this lot!" he roared. "Another d...
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Ten euro for two coffees

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☕ THE MISFITS VS THE €10 CUP OF COFFEE! Stg. Salty discovers that you might need a second mortgage just to get a caffeine fix! BigSaltyDog – Where common sense goes to die, and the price of a coffee causes a national emergency. There are certain things in life that should be simple. Breathing. Walking. Putting on your shoes the correct way around. And buying a bloody cup of coffee. Unfortunately, in modern Ireland, even that last one has become an extreme financial activity requiring the services of a bank manager, an accountant and possibly a solicitor. It all began on a perfectly ordinary Saturday morning when Stg. Salty decided that he and the Misfits deserved a nice coffee. “Right, lads and ladies,” he announced, climbing out of Salty’s Tank, the magnificent Leopard 2 that had somehow become his preferred mode of transport for situations that absolutely did not require a military vehicle. “I'm buying the coffees today. We’ll find a decent café, have a chat and enjoy...
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