BigSaltyDog

  🇮🇪 Rescuing Senior Miguel from Dublin’s Fair City in the Ice & Snow Stg. Salty was out doing repairs in the Leopard 2 tank, while McFinleyyy was assisting him. “Pass me that wrench like a good fellow, McFinleyyy,” said Salty, half his body disappearing underneath the massive German machine. McFinleyyy obliged. “Here you go, Salty.” “Perfect. Now pass me the other one.” “The other one?” “The bigger one.” “There are about twenty bloody wrenches here.” “I know. I need the one that looks like a wrench.” McFinleyyy sighed. This was going to be a long afternoon. The Leopard 2 was parked up outside, covered in a light dusting of snow. Dublin had been hit with one of those rare winter days where the entire city seemed to grind to a halt. Roads were icy, pavements were treacherous, taxis had mysteriously disappeared, and the temperature had dropped to something Salty described as “absolutely bloody Baltic.” Then the phone rang. Salty climbed out from underneath the tank. “Who is tha...

  🍔 The Burger King Girl - a whopper  A Salty Story It was one of those evenings when Sgt. Salty known to friends, enemies and several unfortunate public toilets simply as Salty decided that what he really needed was a quiet bite to eat. Nothing complicated. No adventure. No drama. No parachuting into a railway station. And definitely no women. At least, that was the plan. Salty pulled into Burger King, parked the car and walked through the doors with the confidence of a man who had absolutely no idea what was about to happen to him. He approached the counter. “Evening,” said the girl behind the till. Salty looked up. And stopped. She was beautiful. Not just ordinary beautiful. This was Burger King beautiful. The kind of beautiful that could make a man forget whether he'd ordered fries. “Evening,” Salty eventually managed. “What can I get you?” Salty glanced at the menu. “I'll have the usual.” She smiled. “And what's the usual?” Salty thought about it. “Something big.” She...

  🧹 The Salty Spain Special — Chapter 14 🍼 The Biggest Surprise Yet The Salty Gang were finally home. The treasure had survived the journey. The teddy bear had survived. The Hawaiian shirts had survived. And, most importantly, Ye Olde Large Lad had survived several hours without a proper buffet. The treasure chest was sitting in the middle of the room. Everyone gathered around it. Salty looked at the mess. “Right.” Nobody moved. “We need to tidy this up.” Large Lad looked horrified. “TIDY?” “Yes.” “We just found treasure.” “And now we're going to organise it.” Large Lad sighed. “This holiday is getting worse.” 🧹 Operation Tidy-Up The team began sorting everything. Gold coins went into one box. Jewellery went into another. Old documents were carefully placed into folders. The mysterious map was rolled up. Miguel the teddy bear was given a place of honour. McFinleyyy was put in charge of the paperwork. Captain Morgan was checking the treasure chest. Dinkz was taking photographs. J...

🇪🇸 The Salty Spain Special — Chapter 13 💰 Getting the Treasure Home The Salty Gang stood around the treasure chest. Nobody spoke. They had spent days following clues. They had searched fountains. They had visited fish markets. They had crossed the sea. They had climbed mountains. Large Lad had dug like a man possessed while listening to Iron Maiden. And now they had finally found the treasure. There was just one tiny problem. How were they going to get it home? Captain Morgan looked at the chest. Then at the group. “We can't exactly carry that through the airport.” Salty nodded. “Good point.” Large Lad looked confused. “WHY NOT?” “Because it's a huge chest full of gold.” Large Lad shrugged. “PUT IT IN A SUITCASE.” Everyone stared at him. McFinleyyy slowly nodded. “Actually…” Sarah interrupted. “No.” 🧳 Operation Suitcase They began dividing the treasure into smaller amounts. Coins went into bags. Jewellery went into pouches. The mysterious ancient objects were wrapped carefu...

  🇪🇸 The Salty Spain Special — Chapter 12 🏔️ The Treasure Beneath the Mountains Keywords: Salty travels to Spain, Spain treasure hunt, hidden treasure, Spanish mountains, Iron Maiden, Ye Olde Large Lad, Ramadan Patel, McFinleyyy, Vicky, Sarah and Susan, Dinkz, John Daniels, Captain Morgan, Misfits, funny holiday story The stone marked BEGIN had sent the Salty Gang in an entirely unexpected direction. Away from the marina. Away from the beach. And towards the mountains. 🏔️ The path became steeper. The sunshine was still blazing overhead, but the group were beginning to wonder whether finding treasure was actually worth the effort. Large Lad certainly thought it wasn't. “This is ridiculous.” Salty looked back. “You've been complaining for twenty minutes.” “I'M EXHAUSTED.” “You've barely walked.” “I WALKED UPHILL.” “So?” “UPHILL!” Nobody could argue with that logic. 🗺️ The Final Location Captain Morgan checked the map again. “We're close.” Patel pointed towards ...

  🇪🇸 The Salty Spain Special — Chapter 11 🤝 The Double-Cross That Never Was The sun was beginning to disappear behind the Spanish horizon. The Salty Gang stood together at the marina, staring towards the mysterious island. The treasure was somewhere over there. The clues had led them through streets, fountains, fish markets and marinas. They had followed Spanish inscriptions. They had decoded mysterious writing. They had even consulted the legendary King of Curries . And now they were finally getting close. There was only one problem. Patel had been thinking. And that was never entirely safe. 🤔 Patel's Thoughts Patel stood slightly away from the group. He looked at the map. Then at Salty. Then at the island. Then back at the map. He had to admit it. The Salty Gang were useful. Chaotic? Absolutely. Organised? Not remotely. But somehow, they had managed to get further than anyone else. Patel smiled. I could take the map. He looked down at it. I could disappear. He imagined himsel...