Chapter 2 – Tall Tales at Moe’s
Chapter 2 – Tall Tales at Moe’s The neon sign of Moe’s Tavern flickered like Barney’s eyelids after a six-pack. Inside, the stale smell of Duff beer and bad decisions wrapped around Sgt. Salty like an old coat. “Wheyyyyyy lads!” Salty bellowed as he barged in, dragging Danny Boy and The Govna behind him. Moe peeked over the counter, muttering, “Aw geez, more loudmouths. As if Homer wasn’t enough.” Danny Boy ordered three pints of Duff, but by the time Moe poured them, he’d already told two drunken war stories that somehow involved a goat, a helicopter, and Marge’s blue hair. “True story, swear on me burger!” he hiccupped. The Govna leaned back, swirling his pint like he was some kind of Springfield philosopher. “Boys,” he slurred, “did I ever tell ya about the time I beat Disco Stu in a dance-off? Wheyyyyy, the man never recovered.” Salty jumped onto the sticky barstool like it was a stage. “Tall tales? Ha! I once sold sand to the Arabs and ice to the Eskimos—” “Hey, t...