The Salties 2026
🧂🏆 THE SALTIES 🏆🧂 2026
Stg. Salty and the Misfits Look Back at The Salties.
Nobody quite remembers who came up with the idea.
Stg. Salty claims it was him.
Ye Olde Large Lad claims it was him.
McFinleyyy says there was a meeting about it.
Whizzley says he remembers attending the meeting.
Winkz says there was no meeting.
Sarah says there probably was.
Susan says nobody wrote anything down.
So, naturally, the Misfits decided to hold an awards ceremony anyway.
Welcome to The Salties — the first annual celebration of the finest, funniest, strangest and most memorable moments from the increasingly unbelievable adventures of Stg. Salty and the Misfits.
The dress code was simple.
Turn up.
The venue was simple.
Somewhere with enough room for everyone.
The judging process was simple.
Nobody knows how it worked.
And the awards themselves?
Well, let's just say there were quite a few.
🏆 BEST ACTOR – YE OLDE LARGE LAD
This was always going to be a difficult category.
There have been many memorable performances throughout the Salty stories, but one man has repeatedly demonstrated an extraordinary ability to make an entrance, deliver a line and somehow turn a perfectly normal situation into something considerably more complicated.
Ye Olde Large Lad.
His performance during the great Spanish treasure hunt deserves particular recognition.
There he was, following ancient clues, exploring marinas, travelling through Spain and ultimately helping the Misfits locate an actual treasure.
Although there were occasional concerns about the walking.
And the food.
And the walking.
And the food.
And, on one memorable occasion, whether a mysterious inscription might simply say "restaurant".
Large Lad also deserves recognition for surviving the entire Spanish adventure while wearing Hawaiian shirts.
Some people go on holiday.
Large Lad goes on an expedition.
And somehow comes home with treasure.
🔗 [INSERT LINK – Salty Spain Special]
WINNER: YE OLDE LARGE LAD
His acceptance speech lasted approximately seventeen minutes and contained the words:
"WHERE'S THE BUFFET?"
🧂 MOST SALTIEST STORY
This category was almost impossible.
There have been protests.
There have been concerts.
There have been treasure hunts.
There have been celebrity encounters.
There have been international adventures.
There has even been a confrontation between the Misfits and Artificial Intelligence.
But when the judges sat down and looked at everything the Misfits had achieved, one adventure kept coming back.
The Salty Spain Special.
It had everything.
Treasure.
Mystery.
Marinas.
Mountains.
Maps.
Hawaiian shirts.
Iron Maiden.
Eddie Irvine.
Ramadan Patel.
Captain Morgan.
Sarah and Susan.
McFinleyyy.
Dinkz.
Vicky.
Ye Olde Large Lad.
And, of course, Stg. Salty.
The story became an adventure that somehow kept getting bigger.
Every time the Misfits thought they had reached the end, another clue appeared.
Then another.
Then another.
Until eventually they actually found the treasure.
And somehow, after all that, they still had to figure out how to get the bloody thing home.
WINNER: THE SALTY SPAIN SPECIAL
Stg. Salty's comment:
"We should probably do that again."
Sarah immediately replied:
"No."
🎭 BEST FEMALE ACTOR – SARAH
Sarah has quietly become one of the most important members of the Misfits.
While everyone else is running around looking for treasure, climbing mountains, attending concerts or getting themselves involved in situations that probably require an explanation, Sarah has frequently been the person looking at everyone and wondering how they've managed to get themselves into yet another situation.
Her role in the Spain adventure was particularly memorable.
She brought common sense to a group that occasionally seemed determined to leave common sense somewhere back at the airport.
She also deserves special recognition for her ability to deliver a single look that can say more than an entire paragraph.
And then there's Susan.
Because wherever Sarah goes, Susan is never far away.
Together, they have become an important part of the Misfits' ever-growing story.
WINNER: SARAH
Sarah's acceptance speech:
"Thank you."
Susan:
"That's it?"
Sarah:
"Yep."
🏎️ BEST SPORTING ADVENTURE – YE OLDE LARGE LAD AT SILVERSTONE
Some people attend Formula 1 races to appreciate the engineering.
Some go for the atmosphere.
Some go because they love motorsport.
Large Lad went to Silverstone.
Naturally, the Misfits followed.
What should have been a straightforward day at the British Grand Prix quickly became another Salty adventure.
F1 cars screaming around the circuit.
The Misfits attempting to behave normally.
Large Lad taking in the spectacle.
And Stg. Salty somehow becoming involved in proceedings.
The fact that Ferrari eventually managed a one-two finish only added to the occasion.
Because apparently even Formula 1 wasn't safe from the Misfits.
WINNER: THE SILVERSTONE ADVENTURE
🎸 BEST LIVE PERFORMANCE – THE IRON MAIDEN ADVENTURE
The Misfits have attended plenty of events.
But few could compete with the time Stg. Salty and the gang headed to see Iron Maiden.
For Ye Olde Large Lad in particular, this was always going to be an important occasion.
There was music.
There was a massive crowd.
There was a field full of fans.
And somewhere amongst all of it were the Misfits.
Because apparently going to an Iron Maiden concert normally isn't enough.
You need the Misfits there.
The result?
Another unforgettable Salty adventure.
🔗 [INSERT LINK – The Misfits at Iron Maiden]
WINNER: THE IRON MAIDEN ADVENTURE
🥪 BEST RECOVERY PERFORMANCE – McFINLEYYY
There are moments when a Misfit needs help.
And then there is McFinleyyy after the Westlife concert.
The Misfits had seen enough.
It was time for the recovery operation.
The solution was remarkably straightforward.
"McFinleyyy, do you want a sandwich?"
🥪
"Cup of tea?"
☕
"Beers?"
🍻🎉🍻
This was teamwork at its finest.
No complicated strategy.
No treasure map.
No mysterious clue.
Just sandwiches, tea and beer.
The Misfits rallied around their friend and made sure McFinleyyy knew that he wasn't alone.
It was one of those rare Salty moments where the madness took a back seat and friendship took over.
WINNER: McFINLEYYY
Although McFinleyyy himself would probably like certain parts of that evening permanently removed from the official records.
🤖 MOST CONFUSING STORY FOR ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE
The Misfits vs Artificial Intelligence.
AI thought it understood language.
It thought it understood patterns.
It thought it understood human behaviour.
Then it met the Misfits.
The problem wasn't that the Misfits were unintelligent.
Quite the opposite.
The problem was that the Misfits had their own way of communicating.
AI analysed.
The Misfits improvised.
AI looked for logic.
The Misfits looked for opportunities.
AI asked for clarification.
Stg. Salty simply said:
"You know what I mean."
AI did not know what he meant.
Nobody knew what he meant.
Salty knew.
That was enough.
WINNER: EVERYONE EXCEPT THE AI
🌍 BEST INTERNATIONAL ADVENTURE
Another award for the Salty Spain Special.
From the moment the Misfits arrived in Spain, normality disappeared.
There were clues.
There were boats.
There were mountains.
There was treasure.
There were Hawaiian shirts.
There was even a teddy bear called Miguel.
And somehow the Misfits actually managed to get the treasure home.
That alone deserves an award.
WINNER: THE SALTY SPAIN SPECIAL
🎬 BEST ENSEMBLE CAST
This award belongs to everyone.
Because while individual Misfits have had their moments, the stories work because of the group.
Stg. Salty.
Ye Olde Large Lad.
McFinleyyy.
Whizzley.
Winkz.
Sarah.
Susan.
And all the other Misfits who have wandered into the increasingly enormous Salty universe.
Each brings something different.
Large Lad brings the sheer presence.
McFinleyyy brings his own particular brand of chaos.
Whizzley and Winkz bring another layer of unpredictability.
Sarah and Susan bring balance.
And Salty?
Salty somehow manages to be at the centre of nearly everything.
WINNER: THE MISFITS
🏅 THE "HOW DID WE GET HERE?" AWARD
This award has no individual winner.
It belongs to the entire group.
Because almost every Salty adventure eventually reaches the same point.
Someone looks around.
Someone asks:
"How did we get here?"
Nobody knows.
Then Salty says:
"Right, let's keep going."
And everyone does.
🧂 THE LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARD
There could only be one recipient.
STG. SALTY.
From treasure hunts to concerts.
From Spain to Silverstone.
From protests to international adventures.
From celebrity encounters to battles with artificial intelligence.
Stg. Salty has somehow managed to bring the Misfits through one ridiculous adventure after another.
And the strange thing is…
He's not finished.
Not even close.
There are still places to go.
People to meet.
Trouble to find.
And probably several more situations that nobody has thought of yet.
So this isn't really the end of the story.
It's simply a moment to look back.
To remember the adventures.
To remember the laughs.
To remember the characters.
And to acknowledge that, somehow, the Misfits have created their own little world.
A world where anything can happen.
Where treasure can turn up in Spain.
Where Iron Maiden concerts become Misfit missions.
Where Formula 1 isn't safe from Ye Olde Large Lad.
Where McFinleyyy can be rescued with a sandwich, tea and beer.
And where even artificial intelligence eventually gives up trying to understand what Stg. Salty is talking about.
🧂🏆 AND THE WINNER IS…
There is no overall winner.
Because that's not how the Salties work.
The real winner is the story.
Every ridiculous adventure.
Every unexpected character.
Every argument.
Every journey.
Every sandwich.
Every treasure map.
Every Hawaiian shirt.
Every concert.
Every "What are we doing?"
And every inevitable:
"Ah sure, it'll be grand."
So raise your glasses.
🥂🍻
To Stg. Salty.
To Ye Olde Large Lad.
To McFinleyyy.
To Whizzley.
To Winkz.
To Sarah.
To Susan.
And to every Misfit who has joined the madness along the way.
The first Salties may be over.
But the Misfits have plenty more stories to tell.
Until the next adventure…
Stay Salty. 🧂🐕
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