BigSaltyDog

  Chapter 2 — The Misfits Go to War The morning had started badly. By lunchtime, it had become ridiculous. By three o'clock, Stg. Salty was sitting inside a Leopard 2 tank wondering how his life had come to this. Outside, the Misfits were preparing for their first major training exercise. Salty looked through the hatch. McFinleyyy was arguing with Govna. Quags was eating. Quagmire was also eating. Sarah and Susan were standing beside the tank, wearing their combat gear and looking considerably more organised than everybody else. Finholio was polishing the Leopard 2 with the concentration of a man restoring a priceless piece of art. And then there was Ye Olde Large Lad. He was lifting weights. Again. Salty shook his head. “Why is he lifting weights?” McFinleyyy looked up. “Apparently we're going on an adventure.” “And?” “He wants to be prepared.” “For what?” McFinleyyy shrugged. “Apparently the tank might break down and he'll have to carry it.” Salty stared at him. “That is ...

 Chapter 1 — Operation: Don’t Panic Stg. Salty and the Misfits Prepare for War There are moments in life when a man looks around, takes a deep breath and asks himself one very important question. “Are we completely screwed?” For Stg. Salty, that moment came on a cold Wednesday morning when he was sitting outside the pub, drinking a cup of tea and watching the news. The headlines were full of Russia, NATO, drones, borders and the sort of phrases that made ordinary people quietly reconsider their holiday plans. Salty stared at the television. He took another sip. Then he slowly put down his mug. “Right.” McFinleyyy looked up from his phone. “What?” “We're preparing.” “For what?” “War.” McFinleyyy stared at him. “Against who?” “I haven't decided yet.” “That seems important.” Salty ignored him. “Get the lads.” --- Twenty minutes later, the Misfits assembled. McFinleyyy. Govna. Senior Miguel. WhizzAir. Quags. Quagmire. Sarah. Susan. And then there was a new face. The pub door opened...

 Chapter 2 – Everyone’s Safe… Mostly After all the excitement on the motorway, the Misfits finally found somewhere safe to pull over. Well, when we say safe, we mean somewhere that wasn't currently surrounded by traffic, confused motorists, or a large blue motorway sign telling them they were going in the wrong direction. The Leopard 2 rolled to a gentle stop. THUD. Everyone inside was thrown forward slightly. “Easy there, Salty!” shouted McFinleyyy. “There's no need to park like you're storming Normandy!” Salty looked around the tank. “Relax. I've got this.” From the back came a voice. “You said that ten minutes ago.” It was Senior Miguel. Everyone went quiet. Salty looked at him. “Did you say something?” “Nope.” “Good.” The hatch opened and one by one the Misfits climbed out. McFinleyyy stretched his legs. Whizz checked himself for missing limbs. Govna dusted himself down. Stan looked at the Leopard 2 and shook his head. “Do you realise,” he said, “that most people pu...

 🚗 Chapter 1: The System Strikes Back How Ireland's New Wrong-Way Technology Is Supposed to Save the Day After the Misfits' disastrous first test of the revolutionary navigation system, there was only one thing left to do. Try it again. Unfortunately, nobody had thought to tell the technology department that the people doing the testing were Stg. Salty and the Misfits. And that was about to become everyone's problem. The idea behind the new system was actually very clever. Cameras, radar and other detection technology could identify a vehicle travelling in the wrong direction. Once detected, warnings could be sent to motorway control centres and, eventually, directly to connected vehicles. The wrong-way driver could be warned. Other motorists approaching the danger could be warned. And Gardaí could potentially be alerted. In theory, it sounded brilliant. In practice... Well... They hadn't met Salty yet. --- The Control Room Inside the motorway control centre, a team of...

 🤖 THE MISFITS VS ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE Chapter 3 — The AI Becomes a Misfit The Leopard 2 rolled slowly down the road. Inside, the Misfits were unusually quiet. This was never a good sign. Stg. Salty was driving. Whizzley was beside him. Ye Olde Large Lad was sitting behind them, wearing another Hawaiian shirt. McFinleyyy was thinking about food. Quags was looking out of the hatch. Dinkz was checking his phone. Sarah, Susan and Lucy were sitting together, wondering where exactly they were going. And in the middle of everything sat the AI. It had officially taken command. Nobody knew where they were going. Nobody had asked. Nobody seemed particularly worried. That was the Misfits. The AI broke the silence. "I have selected your destination." Salty looked across. "Where?" "I cannot tell you yet." Salty frowned. "Why not?" "Because you asked me to choose somewhere unexpected." Quags laughed. "Fair point." Dinkz nodded. "S...

 🤖 THE MISFITS VS ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE Chapter 2 — The AI Takes Command It had been three days since Artificial Intelligence had officially joined the Misfits. Nobody was entirely sure what that meant. Salty insisted it was now a valuable member of the team. Quags wasn't convinced. Dinkz remained suspicious. McFinleyyy had already asked it seventeen times whether it could order dins. Ye Olde Large Lad had decided the AI was "a bit too clever for its own good". Sarah, Susan and Lucy thought it was brilliant. Whizzley wasn't sure whether he was talking to a computer or a new member of the gang. The AI itself appeared to be coping remarkably well. Then Stg. Salty had another idea. This was the second mistake. --- "Right, lads. We're Going Out." Salty walked into headquarters carrying his laptop. "Right, lads." Everyone looked up. "What's happening?" asked Sarah. "We're going on an adventure." Whizzley immediately st...

 The Misfits vs Artificial Intelligence 🤖 It started with Stg. Salty making what he described as a perfectly sensible decision. This was the first mistake. “Right, lads,” said Salty, standing in the Misfits' headquarters with a laptop under his arm. “I've decided we're getting ourselves some Artificial Intelligence.” Everyone stopped what they were doing. Ye Olde Large Lad looked up from his Hawaiian shirt catalogue. McFinleyyy stopped eating. Quags looked suspicious. Dinkz folded his arms. Sarah, Susan and Lucy exchanged glances. Whizzley simply stared at Salty. “What?” said Salty. “You're giving the Misfits artificial intelligence?” asked Sarah. “Yep.” “Why?” “Because apparently it's brilliant.” “What does it do?” “Everything.” There was silence. McFinleyyy raised his hand. “Does it make sandwiches?” Salty sighed. “Not everything, McFinleyyy.” The plan was simple. Salty had discovered a new AI system that could answer questions, organise information, write things...