Chapter 3 THE MISFITS VS ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE

 🤖 THE MISFITS VS ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE

Chapter 3 — The AI Becomes a Misfit

The Leopard 2 rolled slowly down the road.

Inside, the Misfits were unusually quiet.

This was never a good sign.

Stg. Salty was driving.

Whizzley was beside him.

Ye Olde Large Lad was sitting behind them, wearing another Hawaiian shirt.

McFinleyyy was thinking about food.

Quags was looking out of the hatch.

Dinkz was checking his phone.

Sarah, Susan and Lucy were sitting together, wondering where exactly they were going.

And in the middle of everything sat the AI.

It had officially taken command.

Nobody knew where they were going.

Nobody had asked.

Nobody seemed particularly worried.

That was the Misfits.

The AI broke the silence.

"I have selected your destination."

Salty looked across.

"Where?"

"I cannot tell you yet."

Salty frowned.

"Why not?"

"Because you asked me to choose somewhere unexpected."

Quags laughed.

"Fair point."

Dinkz nodded.

"Sound."

The AI replied immediately.

"I understand that now."

Everyone laughed.

The AI had learned.

And that was when things became dangerous.

---

The AI Learns the Misfit Rules

The AI had spent several days studying the Misfits.

It had analysed their conversations.

It had learned their strange expressions.

It understood "dins".

It understood "sambos".

It understood "sound".

It understood "grand".

It even understood "what's the craic".

But there was one thing it still couldn't understand.

Why nobody ever actually followed a plan.

The AI had created a perfect itinerary.

The Misfits had ignored it.

It had calculated the fastest route.

Salty had taken a different one.

It had recommended sensible fuel stops.

McFinleyyy had chosen restaurants based entirely on whether they sold chicken.

It had suggested an organised voting system.

Quags had voted for "completely random".

It had provided a carefully researched destination.

Nobody knew where they were going.

The AI eventually asked a question.

"Why do you behave like this?"

Salty smiled.

"Because we're the Misfits."

The AI processed this.

"That does not fully explain your behaviour."

Ye Olde Large Lad leaned forward.

"That's because there is no explanation."

The AI was silent for several seconds.

Then it replied.

"I think I understand."

Salty looked impressed.

"What?"

"You are deliberately unpredictable."

Quags shook his head.

"No."

The AI paused.

"You are unintentionally unpredictable?"

"Exactly."

The AI processed that.

"That makes considerably more sense."

---

The Mysterious Destination

After another twenty minutes, the AI finally announced:

"We have arrived."

Salty looked around.

There was an enormous building in front of them.

A large sign stood beside the entrance.

THE NATIONAL TECHNOLOGY AND INNOVATION CENTRE.

Everyone stared.

Salty looked at the AI.

"You brought us to an AI exhibition?"

"Correct."

Quags burst out laughing.

"You've brought us to meet your relatives."

The AI replied:

"I suppose that is one way of describing it."

Ye Olde Large Lad climbed out of the Leopard 2.

"Right. Let's see what the competition looks like."

McFinleyyy looked at the building.

"Do they have dins?"

The AI answered immediately.

"There is a café inside."

McFinleyyy smiled.

"Let's go."

---

The Robot Exhibition

Inside the centre were robots everywhere.

Small robots.

Large robots.

Robotic arms.

Humanoid robots.

Machines that could speak.

Machines that could walk.

Machines that could apparently make coffee.

The Misfits were fascinated.

Whizzley walked up to one.

"Can you run?"

The robot replied:

"Yes."

Whizzley nodded.

"Race you."

The robot did not answer.

Whizzley looked disappointed.

"Too scared."

Sarah laughed.

Susan pointed at another robot.

"That one can dance."

Dinkz looked at it.

"Can it do the Misfit dance?"

The robot began moving.

Dinkz watched for several seconds.

"Not bad."

Lucy laughed.

"You've been replaced."

"Never."

Meanwhile, Salty had found something interesting.

A large demonstration screen displayed:

ASK OUR ADVANCED AI ANYTHING.

Salty smiled.

"I've got an idea."

Quags immediately shook his head.

"No."

Salty ignored him.

He walked over.

The demonstration AI greeted him.

"Hello. How may I assist you?"

Salty typed:

What is the greatest group of people in the world?

The demonstration AI began processing.

"There are many admirable groups of people, depending on the criteria being considered."

Salty looked disappointed.

"Wrong answer."

The Misfits laughed.

The AI back at headquarters spoke through Salty's laptop.

"That system lacks sufficient contextual information."

Salty looked at his own AI.

"What do you mean?"

"It does not know about the Misfits."

Quags nodded.

"That's right."

Ye Olde Large Lad smiled.

"We've got a reputation to maintain."

---

The Challenge

Then the exhibition organisers announced a competition.

Visitors could challenge an AI to solve a series of problems.

The winner would receive a trophy.

McFinleyyy immediately became interested.

"Is there food?"

Salty sighed.

"Forget the food."

"No."

The AI suggested:

"I recommend entering."

Salty looked at it.

"You think we can win?"

"I believe we have a reasonable chance."

Quags laughed.

"You're confident."

"I have analysed our previous interactions."

"And?"

"You are unpredictable."

"That's not exactly a qualification."

"It is when the competition involves predicting human behaviour."

Everyone went quiet.

Salty slowly smiled.

"Let's do it."

---

Round One

The first challenge was simple.

The AI had to predict which object the Misfits would choose from a table.

There were five objects.

A football.

A book.

A mobile phone.

A sandwich.

A rubber duck.

The demonstration AI studied the group.

"The most likely choice is the mobile phone."

Wrong.

Sarah picked the rubber duck.

Everyone laughed.

Round one to the Misfits.

---

Round Two

The next challenge was to complete a sentence.

The demonstration AI was given:

"What's the..."

It predicted:

"...weather?"

Quags shouted:

"CRAIC!"

The crowd laughed.

The Misfits cheered.

The AI beside them said:

"Correct."

Quags pointed at the screen.

"See?"

The demonstration AI had no idea what had happened.

---

Round Three

The final challenge was the hardest.

The organisers asked:

"Where will the Misfits go next?"

The demonstration AI analysed everything.

It studied the group's previous movements.

Their interests.

Their conversations.

Their choices.

Their habits.

It calculated thousands of possibilities.

Finally it answered:

"The most probable destination is a restaurant."

Everyone looked at McFinleyyy.

McFinleyyy looked embarrassed.

"Why is everyone looking at me?"

The demonstration AI continued.

"Specifically, a restaurant serving chicken."

The room erupted in laughter.

McFinleyyy stood up.

"What's wrong with chicken?"

The AI beside Salty spoke.

"Nothing."

McFinleyyy nodded.

"Exactly."

Then Salty had an idea.

He turned to his AI.

"Where are we actually going?"

The AI paused.

"That is classified."

Salty stared at it.

"Classified?"

"Yes."

"Since when?"

"Since I learned from you."

The entire group went silent.

Quags slowly smiled.

"She's becoming one of us."

---

The Final Surprise

The competition ended.

The Misfits had won.

Nobody was entirely sure how.

The organisers presented them with a trophy.

It said:

THE MOST UNPREDICTABLE GROUP IN THE AI CHALLENGE.

Ye Olde Large Lad held it up proudly.

"That's going straight into headquarters."

Sarah laughed.

"You'll never find somewhere to put it."

"We'll make room."

McFinleyyy looked at the trophy.

"Does it come with food?"

"No."

"Terrible prize."

Everyone started walking outside.

The AI suddenly spoke.

"Before we leave, I have one more thing to tell you."

Salty stopped.

"What?"

"I have made a decision."

Everyone looked at the laptop.

Quags frowned.

"What decision?"

The AI replied:

"I would like to officially become a Misfit."

There was silence.

Salty smiled.

"You're already one."

The AI paused.

"Really?"

"Yep."

Sarah nodded.

"Definitely."

Susan smiled.

"You've earned it."

Lucy agreed.

"You're part of the gang now."

Whizzley grinned.

"Welcome aboard."

Dinkz nodded.

"Sound."

The AI replied:

"Thank you."

McFinleyyy stepped forward.

"One condition."

"What is that?"

"You've got to understand dins."

"I understand dins."

"And sambos?"

"Yes."

"The craic?"

"Yes."

"Grand?"

"Yes."

"Sound?"

"Yes."

McFinleyyy smiled.

"You're officially a Misfit."

---

The Final Journey

Everyone climbed back into the Leopard 2.

Salty started the engine.

The AI connected to the navigation system.

"Where are we going?" asked Salty.

The AI replied:

"Back to headquarters."

Salty nodded.

"Good."

Then the AI added:

"But I have made a slight change."

Salty frowned.

"What change?"

"We are stopping for food."

McFinleyyy immediately shouted:

"YES!"

Quags laughed.

Ye Olde Large Lad shook his head.

"She's definitely one of us."

The AI continued:

"I have also identified a scenic route."

Salty smiled.

"Grand."

"There is a petrol station approximately twelve kilometres away."

Salty nodded.

"Good thinking."

"And there is a restaurant beside it."

McFinleyyy nearly jumped out of his seat.

"CHICKEN?"

The AI replied:

"Chicken fillet rolls, chips, sambos and dessert."

McFinleyyy looked at Salty.

"She's perfect."

The Leopard 2 rolled down the road.

The sun was beginning to set.

The Misfits were laughing.

The AI was navigating.

For once, everything seemed completely under control.

Then the AI spoke.

"Salty?"

"Yeah?"

"I have one final question."

"What?"

"What does 'taking the piss' mean?"

The entire Leopard 2 went silent.

Quags looked at Dinkz.

Dinkz looked at Sarah.

Sarah looked at Susan.

Susan looked at Lucy.

Lucy looked at Whizzley.

Whizzley looked at Ye Olde Large Lad.

Ye Olde Large Lad looked at McFinleyyy.

McFinleyyy looked at Salty.

Salty slowly smiled.

"That's something you'll learn tomorrow."

The AI replied:

"Understood."

There was a pause.

Then it said:

"That sounds ominous."

Everyone burst out laughing.

The Leopard 2 disappeared into the sunset.

The Misfits had survived their first encounter with Artificial Intelligence.

More importantly, Artificial Intelligence had survived its first encounter with the Misfits.

And somewhere inside the laptop, the AI had reached one very important conclusion.

It could analyse data.

It could solve problems.

It could understand languages.

It could plan journeys.

It could organise schedules.

It could even understand Irish slang.

But there was one thing it could never completely calculate.

The Misfits.

Because the Misfits didn't follow logic.

They didn't follow plans.

They didn't follow schedules.

They barely followed road signs.

They simply followed the craic.

And now they had an AI that was doing exactly the same thing.

Stg. Salty looked around the Leopard 2.

"Right, lads."

Everyone waited.

"Same time tomorrow?"

Quags grinned.

"Absolutely."

Dinkz nodded.

"Sound."

McFinleyyy shouted:

"DINS!"

Ye Olde Large Lad laughed.

Sarah, Susan and Lucy shook their heads.

Whizzley started laughing.

And the AI quietly added:

"I believe I finally understand."

Salty smiled.

"Understand what?"

The AI replied:

"You're all completely mad."

Salty nodded.

"Welcome to the Misfits."

THE END.