Chapter 3 – Everyone’s Safe… Mostly

 Chapter 3 – Everyone’s Safe… Mostly

After all the excitement on the motorway, the Misfits finally found somewhere safe to pull over.

Well, when we say safe, we mean somewhere that wasn't currently surrounded by traffic, confused motorists, or a large blue motorway sign telling them they were going in the wrong direction.

The Leopard 2 rolled to a gentle stop.

THUD.

Everyone inside was thrown forward slightly.

“Easy there, Salty!” shouted McFinleyyy. “There's no need to park like you're storming Normandy!”

Salty looked around the tank.

“Relax. I've got this.”

From the back came a voice.

“You said that ten minutes ago.”

It was Senior Miguel.

Everyone went quiet.

Salty looked at him.

“Did you say something?”

“Nope.”

“Good.”

The hatch opened and one by one the Misfits climbed out.

McFinleyyy stretched his legs.

Whizz checked himself for missing limbs.

Govna dusted himself down.

Stan looked at the Leopard 2 and shook his head.

“Do you realise,” he said, “that most people pull into a service station in a Ford Focus?”

Salty nodded.

“Yeah.”

“And we arrive in a tank.”

“Exactly.”

Stan sighed.

“Fair point.”

Then came the moment everyone had been waiting for.

Sarah and Susan came running towards them.

They had been watching the whole motorway drama unfold from a safe distance, and when they finally saw the Misfits climbing out of the tank, they were absolutely delighted.

“Oh my God!” shouted Sarah. “You're all safe!”

Susan looked at the group.

“All of you?”

McFinleyyy counted.

“One…”

“Two…”

“Three…”

He looked around.

“Hang on. Where's Finholio?”

There was silence.

Then, from behind the tank came a strange noise.

“WOOOOOOO-HOOOOOO!”

Everyone turned.

Walking towards them was a man carrying a small backpack, wearing sunglasses and looking incredibly pleased with himself.

Finholio.

The newest member of the Misfits.

Salty stared at him.

“Where the hell did you come from?”

Finholio shrugged.

“I followed the tank.”

“You followed a Leopard 2?”

“Yeah.”

“How?”

“Google Maps.”

Everyone looked at each other.

McFinleyyy shook his head.

“That's dedication.”

Finholio walked over and shook Salty's hand.

“I've heard about the Misfits.”

Salty nodded proudly.

“Good things, I hope?”

Finholio paused.

“Well…”

Another pause.

“Mostly.”

Govna burst out laughing.

“That's good enough!”

Sarah smiled.

“Well, Finholio, welcome to the gang.”

Susan nodded.

“But there's one thing you need to know.”

Finholio looked concerned.

“What?”

Susan pointed towards the Leopard 2.

“Never let Salty navigate.”

Everyone immediately started laughing.

Salty looked offended.

“I can navigate!”

McFinleyyy raised an eyebrow.

“You drove a tank onto a motorway.”

“Technically, the tank was already on the motorway.”

“You nearly went the wrong way!”

“That was the sat-nav!”

Whizz shouted from behind him:

“YOU WERE HOLDING THE SAT-NAV UPSIDE DOWN!”

Silence.

Salty slowly looked at the device in his hand.

He turned it around.

“Oh.”

Sarah and Susan burst into laughter.

Even Salty couldn't keep a straight face.

The whole gang stood together beside the Leopard 2, laughing about the day's madness.

For once, nobody was stuck in a ditch.

Nobody had driven the wrong way.

Nobody had accidentally entered a roundabout backwards.

And, most importantly, everyone was safe.

It was almost a perfect ending.

Almost.

Because just as Sarah was saying how relieved she was that everything had worked out, the Leopard 2 suddenly made a loud noise.

BEEP… BEEP… BEEP…

Everyone stopped laughing.

Salty looked at the tank.

“What was that?”

McFinleyyy frowned.

“I don't know.”

Another beep.

BEEP… BEEP… BEEP…

Finholio walked over.

“Maybe I should check it.”

Salty nodded.

“Good idea. You're the newest member. Time to prove yourself.”

Finholio opened the hatch.

He looked inside.

Then he slowly turned around.

“Er… lads?”

“What?”

“I think I found the problem.”

“What is it?”

Finholio pointed inside.

“The tank's reversing.”

Everyone jumped backwards.

VRRRRRRRRRRMMMM!

The Leopard 2 started rolling backwards.

“STOP THE TANK!”

Salty ran after it.

McFinleyyy ran after Salty.

Govna ran after McFinleyyy.

Whizz ran after Govna.

Senior Miguel simply stood there watching.

Sarah looked at Susan.

Susan looked at Sarah.

They both sighed.

“Men.”

And somewhere in the distance, Finholio could be heard shouting:

“I'VE ONLY BEEN IN THE GANG FIVE MINUTES!”

The Misfits had survived the motorway.

They had survived the wrong-way scare.

They had all made it home safely.

And now they had a new member.

Finholio.

Unfortunately, nobody had remembered to tell him one very important rule:

Never leave the keys in Salty's tank.

TO BE CONTINUED…