Chapter 2: The System Strikes Back

 🚗 Chapter 2: The System Strikes Back

How Ireland's New Wrong-Way Technology Is Supposed to Save the Day

After the Misfits' disastrous first test of the revolutionary navigation system, there was only one thing left to do.

Try it again.

Unfortunately, nobody had thought to tell the technology department that the people doing the testing were Stg. Salty and the Misfits.

And that was about to become everyone's problem.

The idea behind the new system was actually very clever.

Cameras, radar and other detection technology could identify a vehicle travelling in the wrong direction.

Once detected, warnings could be sent to motorway control centres and, eventually, directly to connected vehicles.

The wrong-way driver could be warned.

Other motorists approaching the danger could be warned.

And Gardaí could potentially be alerted.

In theory, it sounded brilliant.

In practice...

Well...

They hadn't met Salty yet.

---

The Control Room

Inside the motorway control centre, a team of highly trained professionals watched dozens of screens.

Traffic cameras.

Radar feeds.

Electronic motorway signs.

Everything was calm.

Then one operator noticed something unusual.

“Eh... lads?”

Everyone turned around.

“What?”

“There appears to be a Leopard 2 tank on the motorway.”

Silence.

Another operator leaned towards the screen.

“Is it... going the wrong way?”

“Yes.”

“Can you identify the driver?”

The operator zoomed in.

The image became clearer.

Stg. Salty was sitting behind the controls.

McFinleyyy was beside him holding a coffee.

Govna was hanging out of the hatch.

Senior Miguel appeared to be eating a breakfast roll.

Whizz was looking at his phone.

The operator sighed.

“It's the Misfits.”

---

WARNING! WARNING!

Suddenly, the system activated.

A huge warning appeared on the control-room screen:

⚠️ WRONG-WAY VEHICLE DETECTED

The motorway signs immediately changed.

DANGER — WRONG-WAY VEHICLE AHEAD

Cars slowed down.

The control centre prepared to contact the driver.

Then the system sent an alert to the Leopard 2.

BEEP!

Salty looked at the dashboard.

“What was that?”

BEEP!

McFinleyyy looked over.

“It's warning us.”

“Warning us about what?”

The dashboard flashed:

⚠️ WRONG-WAY DRIVING DETECTED

Salty stared at it.

Then looked through the windscreen.

Then looked at McFinleyyy.

Then back at the screen.

“That's impossible.”

McFinleyyy pointed ahead.

“We're on the wrong side of the motorway.”

Salty thought about this for a moment.

“Ah.”

---

The System Gets Serious

The warning became louder.

WRONG-WAY DRIVING DETECTED.

PLEASE STOP SAFELY.

TURN AROUND WHEN SAFE TO DO SO.

Salty reached for the radio.

“Control centre, this is Stg. Salty.”

A voice answered.

“Leopard 2, please stop immediately.”

Salty nodded.

“Copy that.”

McFinleyyy smiled.

“Excellent.”

Salty put the tank into gear.

McFinleyyy's smile disappeared.

“Salty?”

“Yeah?”

“You're moving.”

“I know.”

“Why?”

“We're going to find somewhere safe to stop.”

McFinleyyy looked at the motorway.

“There is literally a hard shoulder right beside us.”

Salty looked at it.

“Ah.”

He stopped.

---

How It Actually Works

While the Misfits sat on the hard shoulder, the control centre continued monitoring the situation.

The principle was simple.

Detection systems can identify a vehicle moving in a direction that doesn't match the expected flow of traffic.

That information can then trigger warning signs, alerts and communications.

TII has also been examining systems using CCTV, radar, lidar and thermal imaging to detect wrong-way vehicles and warn other motorists. Connected-car technology could eventually allow alerts to reach vehicles directly.

The problem?

Not every car currently has the technology needed to communicate with the road network.

TII told the transport committee that only around 5% of cars currently have the required connected-vehicle technology, meaning widespread deployment is likely to take years.

Which means Ireland needs other measures in the meantime.

And thankfully...

The Misfits had volunteered to test them.

Nobody knows why.

---

Back Inside the Tank

“Right,” said Salty.

“Let's try the system properly.”

McFinleyyy looked suspicious.

“How?”

“I'm going to follow the instructions.”

Everyone became silent.

This was unprecedented.

Salty started the engine.

The system said:

“Proceed when safe.”

Salty proceeded.

“Remain in your designated lane.”

Salty remained in his designated lane.

“Continue for 2 kilometres.”

Salty continued.

Everyone stared at each other.

“This is going surprisingly well,” said Whizz.

Then the system spoke again.

“Take the next exit.”

Salty followed the instruction.

The tank left the motorway.

The system recalculated.

“You have successfully exited the motorway.”

McFinleyyy smiled.

“We did it!”

The Misfits cheered.

Salty raised his fist.

“Technology!”

Then the system added:

“Destination: SuperValu.”

Silence.

McFinleyyy slowly turned towards Salty.

“You put SuperValu into the sat-nav again, didn't you?”

Salty looked embarrassed.

“Maybe.”

---

The Final Test

The control centre watched as the Leopard 2 disappeared from the motorway.

One of the engineers leaned back in his chair.

“Well, technically, the system worked.”

Another nodded.

“It detected the wrong-way vehicle.”

“It issued warnings.”

“It got the vehicle off the motorway.”

The room fell silent.

Then someone asked:

“Where did it go?”

The operator checked the tracking screen.

“SuperValu.”

Everyone sighed.

Meanwhile, Salty and the Misfits were parked beside the trolley bays.

Govna jumped out.

“Anyone want milk?”

McFinleyyy shook his head.

“I'm beginning to think the navigation system is deliberately sending us here.”

Salty looked at the dashboard.

The system suddenly spoke.

“Recalculating…”

Everyone froze.

Then:

“Next destination: Dublin.”

Salty smiled.

“Finally!”

The tank rolled forward.

Five minutes later...

“Recalculating…”

Ten minutes later...

“Please turn around when possible.”

McFinleyyy closed his eyes.

“Here we go again.”

And somewhere inside the motorway control centre, an alarm began to beep.

WRONG-WAY VEHICLE DETECTED.

The operator looked at the screen.

“Oh no.”

He zoomed in.

“It's them again.”

To be continued...