Stg. Salty and the misfits take Hollywood

 

🏆 Stg. Salty and the Misfits Take Hollywood  Wins 20 Emmys!

Keywords: BigSaltyDog, Stg. Salty, Misfits, Emmys, Emmy Awards, Sarah Michelle Gellar, David Boreanaz, Hollywood, funny awards story, Salty Gang, Ye Olde Large Lad, McFinleyyy, Sarah and Susan, Dinkz, Quags, WhizzAir

There are some nights when you simply know something is going to go spectacularly wrong.

Then there are nights when Stg. Salty and the Misfits turn up at the Emmys.

Hollywood had been warned.

Nobody listened.

And, as it turned out, Hollywood wasn't remotely prepared.

The evening began innocently enough. The red carpet was rolled out, the cameras were switched on and the biggest names in television began arriving in their finest clothes.

Then came a noise from somewhere down the road.

VROOOOOOOOM!

A convoy of suspiciously fast cars came around the corner.

The first car stopped.

Out stepped Stg. Salty, looking remarkably pleased with himself.

Behind him came the Misfits.

Ye Olde Large Lad.

McFinleyyy.

Sarah.

Susan.

Lucy.

Laura.

Dinkz.

Quags.

WhizzAir.

And several others who had somehow managed to get through security despite apparently having no idea why they were there.

The security guard looked at Salty.

"Invitation?"

Salty produced a crumpled piece of paper.

The guard stared at it.

"This says 'Pizza Tuesday'."

Salty nodded confidently.

"That's the one."

And somehow, they were allowed in.

---

🎬 Welcome to the Emmys

Inside, the atmosphere was electric.

Hollywood's finest were gathered together to celebrate television's biggest shows and stars.

Then the lights dimmed.

The audience applauded as the presenters walked onto the stage.

And there was a huge cheer when Sarah Michelle Gellar and David Boreanaz appeared to present the next awards.

Salty sat bolt upright.

"Well, this is getting interesting."

McFinleyyy leaned over.

"Salty, don't do anything embarrassing."

"Of course not."

Five seconds later Salty accidentally pressed the button underneath his chair.

HONK!

The entire auditorium went silent.

Salty looked around.

"That wasn't me."

Dinkz immediately pointed at Ye Olde Large Lad.

"Probably him."

Large Lad shook his head.

"I've been framed."

Sarah Michelle Gellar looked towards the audience and smiled.

"Well, it looks like we've got some enthusiastic guests tonight."

Salty waved.

"That's us!"

Sarah laughed.

David Boreanaz looked at the programme.

"Actually, I think Stg. Salty is nominated for several awards tonight."

The Misfits erupted.

"WHAT?!"

Salty looked genuinely surprised.

"You mean they actually read my application?"

---

🏆 The First Award

The first category was announced.

"And the Emmy goes to..."

There was a pause.

"Stg. Salty and the Misfits!"

The room erupted.

Salty stood up.

Then sat back down.

Then stood up again.

Then realised he had forgotten where the stage was.

Sarah pointed.

"That way, Salty."

"Oh right."

He eventually reached the stage.

David handed him the award.

"Congratulations."

Salty held it up.

"Is this real?"

David nodded.

"Yes."

"Can I put it on eBay?"

"No."

"Fair enough."

And that was only Emmy number one.

---

🏆 Then Things Got Ridiculous

The next award came.

"And the Emmy goes to... Stg. Salty!"

The Misfits went wild.

Salty went back up.

Then came another.

Salty.

And another.

Salty.

And another.

Salty.

By Emmy number five, the organisers had started looking nervous.

By number ten, Sarah Michelle Gellar was laughing.

David Boreanaz leaned towards her.

"I think he's going to need a bigger mantelpiece."

"He's going to need a bigger house," she replied.

Salty returned to his seat carrying yet another trophy.

Ye Olde Large Lad looked at the growing pile.

"Where are you putting them?"

Salty shrugged.

"Probably beside the toaster."

---

🏆 Emmy Number 20!

Then came the final category.

The presenter opened the envelope.

The room went quiet.

"And the Emmy goes to..."

A pause.

"STG. SALTY!"

The Misfits exploded.

Twenty!

TWENTY EMMYS!

Salty had done it.

Twenty awards.

Twenty trophies.

Twenty opportunities to make a complete show of himself.

He climbed onto the stage for the final time.

Sarah Michelle Gellar handed him the twentieth trophy.

"Congratulations, Salty. Twenty Emmys is quite an achievement."

Salty nodded.

"Thank you."

David Boreanaz shook his hand.

"Any final words?"

Salty looked out across the audience.

"I'd like to thank the Misfits."

The Misfits cheered.

"I'd like to thank Hollywood."

More applause.

"I'd like to thank the people who believed in us."

Cheers.

"And I'd also like to thank the person who booked the buffet."

Silence.

Salty looked serious.

"Because without snacks, none of this would have been possible."

The audience burst out laughing.

---

🍕 The After-Party

After the ceremony, the Misfits headed to the official Emmy after-party.

This was where things became considerably more dangerous.

Not dangerous in the Hollywood sense.

Dangerous in the Salty buffet sense.

There were mountains of food.

Pizza.

Burgers.

Steak.

Desserts.

Miniature cakes.

Chocolate fountains.

And enough finger food to feed a small army.

Salty looked at the buffet.

The buffet looked at Salty.

It was going to be a long evening.

McFinleyyy grabbed a plate.

"Go easy."

Salty shook his head.

"After winning twenty Emmys, I believe I've earned this."

Meanwhile, Quags had somehow acquired a tiny Emmy-shaped cake.

Dinkz was attempting to balance three desserts on one plate.

WhizzAir was trying to work out whether the champagne glasses were complimentary.

Lucy and Laura were taking photographs.

Sarah and Susan were laughing at the whole spectacle.

And Ye Olde Large Lad?

He had disappeared.

Ten minutes later he was discovered beside the dessert table.

"I was checking the structural integrity."

"Of the cake?"

"Exactly."

---

🌟 Hollywood Has Been Saltyfied

By the end of the evening, the Misfits had become the talk of Hollywood.

Not because they had behaved badly.

Well... not entirely.

Not because they had won twenty Emmys.

Although that certainly helped.

But because they had somehow managed to bring the completely unique BigSaltyDog spirit to the biggest television awards night in the world.

Salty stood outside beneath the Hollywood lights, twenty Emmy statues carefully packed into several boxes.

He looked at the Misfits.

"What a night."

McFinleyyy smiled.

"Twenty Emmys."

Sarah nodded.

"Not bad."

Susan laughed.

"You'll never top this."

Salty looked thoughtful.

"Of course I will."

Everyone stared at him.

"How?"

Salty grinned.

"Next year..."

He paused dramatically.

"We go for thirty."

The Misfits cheered.

Somewhere inside the venue, an exhausted organiser heard the news.

He immediately reached for the telephone.

"Hello? Security?"

---

🐕 The BigSaltyDog Verdict

And so, Stg. Salty and the Misfits left Hollywood having achieved the impossible.

Twenty Emmy Awards.

Not one.

Not two.

Not even ten.

TWENTY!

Sarah Michelle Gellar and David Boreanaz had presented the awards, the Misfits had caused their usual level of chaos, Ye Olde Large Lad had nearly dismantled the dessert table, McFinleyyy had probably eaten half the buffet, and Salty had somehow walked away with enough hardware to open his own television network.

The only question now is what happens next.

Hollywood has survived the Misfits.

Just.

But the BigSaltyDog gang isn't finished yet.

There are still Oscars.

Golden Globes.

BAFTAs.

And, apparently, Salty has already been nominated for an award for "Outstanding Achievement in Eating Cake While Holding Twenty Emmys."

The ceremony is next month.

The Misfits are already packing.

Hollywood has been warned.

The Salty Dog is coming back.

🐕🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆

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