Burger King, A whopper

 

🍔 The Burger King Girl - a whopper 

A Salty Story

It was one of those evenings when Sgt. Salty known to friends, enemies and several unfortunate public toilets simply as Salty decided that what he really needed was a quiet bite to eat.

Nothing complicated.

No adventure.

No drama.

No parachuting into a railway station.

And definitely no women.

At least, that was the plan.

Salty pulled into Burger King, parked the car and walked through the doors with the confidence of a man who had absolutely no idea what was about to happen to him.

He approached the counter.

“Evening,” said the girl behind the till.

Salty looked up.

And stopped.

She was beautiful.

Not just ordinary beautiful.

This was Burger King beautiful.

The kind of beautiful that could make a man forget whether he'd ordered fries.

“Evening,” Salty eventually managed.

“What can I get you?”

Salty glanced at the menu.

“I'll have the usual.”

She smiled.

“And what's the usual?”

Salty thought about it.

“Something big.”

She raised an eyebrow.

“How big?”

Salty suddenly realised that this conversation could go in several different directions.

“Big enough to satisfy me,” he replied.

She laughed.

“Well, you've come to the right place.”

Salty grinned.

“I was beginning to think so.”

She handed him his receipt.

“Take a seat. I'll bring it over.”

Salty found a table and sat down, trying to act completely normal.

He failed.

A few minutes later, she appeared carrying his meal.

“Here you go.”

Salty looked at the tray.

Then at her.

“That's some package.”

She burst out laughing.

“It's just your burger!”

“Of course it is,” Salty said innocently.

She leaned closer.

“So, are you always this cheeky?”

“Only when I'm hungry.”

“And are you hungry often?”

Salty smiled.

“Very.”

She shook her head.

“You're trouble.”

“That's what they tell me.”

She walked away, but Salty noticed something.

She looked back.

And smiled.

That was when Salty knew his quiet evening had officially gone out the window.

After finishing his meal, Salty approached the counter.

“Everything okay?” she asked.

“Excellent.”

“Good.”

“But I think there's something missing.”

She looked concerned.

“Did you not get everything?”

“Oh, I got everything I ordered.”

“So what's missing?”

Salty leaned against the counter.

“Dessert.”

She laughed.

“We don't have much dessert left.”

“That's alright.”

“What do you have in mind?”

Salty smiled.

“I was thinking something a little more... personal.”

She folded her arms.

“You really don't give up, do you?”

“Never.”

She looked around the restaurant.

It was getting quieter now.

“What's your name?” she asked.

“Salty.”

“Salty?”

“Short for Sgt. Salty.”

She laughed.

“You're not actually a sergeant, are you?”

“That's classified.”

“Of course it is.”

“And you?”

She told him her name.

Salty repeated it slowly.

“That's a lovely name.”

“Thank you.”

There was a pause.

The sort of pause where two people know exactly what's happening without either one saying it.

She smiled.

“So, Mr. Salty...”

“Yes?”

“You said you wanted something big.”

“I did.”

“And satisfying.”

“Absolutely.”

She leaned towards him.

“Well, maybe I know somewhere we can get exactly what you're looking for.”

Salty raised an eyebrow.

“Is it still serving?”

She laughed.

“Very funny.”

They walked outside together.

The cool night air hit Salty's face.

He looked at her.

She looked at him.

And suddenly the Burger King sign seemed considerably less interesting than it had ten minutes earlier.

“So,” she said, “where are we going?”

Salty smiled.

“I thought you knew somewhere.”

“I do.”

“Lead the way.”

They walked down the street together, chatting and laughing.

Salty told her a few of his more outrageous stories.

She couldn't believe half of them.

“You're making that up.”

“Not a word.”

“You parachuted into a train station?”

“Correct.”

“You drove a tank home?”

“Also correct.”

“You once tried to fix a toilet with a screwdriver?”

Salty paused.

“That story is still under investigation.”

She laughed so loudly that people turned around.

Eventually they reached her car.

She looked at Salty.

“Would you like to come in for a coffee?”

Salty smiled.

“Coffee?”

“Yes.”

“Just coffee?”

She gave him a playful look.

“Well... we'll see.”

Salty opened the passenger door.

“After you.”

She climbed in.

Salty followed.

The doors closed.

And for once, Sgt. Salty didn't have a single smart remark.

The two of them sat there for a moment.

Then she smiled.

“You know, Salty...”

“Yes?”

“I think you've been talking about burgers all evening.”

“I have.”

“But I'm beginning to think you weren't talking about burgers at all.”

Salty grinned.

“Maybe I wasn't.”

She laughed.

“Come on then, Mr. Salty.”

“Where?”

“Inside.”

Salty looked at her.

Then at the house.

Then back at her.

“Well,” he said, “I suppose I'd better make sure you get the full Big Mac experience.”

She burst out laughing.

“You really are terrible.”

“I'm Sgt. Salty.”

“That's not an excuse.”

“It usually works.”

She opened the door.

“Come on, Salty.”

And with that, the two disappeared inside.

The door closed behind them.

What happened next?

Well...

Let's just say that by the time Salty eventually emerged the following morning, he looked like a man who had successfully completed a five-course meal, a marathon and a military operation all at once.

He walked past the Burger King on his way home.

He stopped.

Looked at the sign.

And smiled.

A passer-by noticed.

“What's so funny?”

Salty shook his head.

“Nothing.”

“You look very happy.”

Salty grinned.

“Let's just say...”

He adjusted his jacket.

“...I finally got the full Big Mac.”

And with that, Sgt. Salty walked away into the morning sunshine.

Another mission accomplished.

Another story for the lads.

And another Burger King he would never be able to walk past without smiling.

THE END. 🍔😜😉