Sgt. Salty and the Misfits: The Legend of Buffyra

 

Sgt. Salty and the Misfits: The Legend of Buffyra

Chapter 1: The Girl from the Golden Horizon

The sky above Dublin burned gold and crimson.

Sgt. Salty stood atop a small hill overlooking The Woods, 

Something wasn't right.

He could feel it.

The birds were silent.

The wind had stopped.

Even Ye Olde Large Lad, who normally consumed six sausage rolls before breakfast, had paused halfway through number seven.

"Anyone else feel that?" asked Salty.

"I feel hungry," replied Ye Olde Large Lad.

"That's because you're always hungry."

The rest of the Misfits gathered nearby.

WhizzAir Winky adjusted his battered sunglasses.

Sarah scanned the woods nervously.

Susan checked her phone.

The Govna folded his arms.

Funji Squallshy stared at a mushroom.

Nobody trusted Funji around mushrooms anymore.

Suddenly the ground shook.

BOOM!

A flash of blinding light erupted from the centre of the woods.

Trees swayed.

Leaves flew through the air.

Birds scattered in every direction.

"What in the name of discounted sausage rolls was that?" shouted Ye Olde Large Lad.

Salty pointed towards the light.

"Come on."

The Misfits charged into the forest.

Branches cracked beneath their feet.

The strange golden glow grew brighter and brighter until they reached a clearing they had never seen before.

In the centre stood a gigantic stone archway.

Ancient runes glowed across its surface.

Golden energy swirled inside it like a living storm.

Nobody spoke.

Nobody moved.

Then a figure stepped through.

A young woman emerged from the portal.

She wore gleaming white-and-gold armour.

A crimson cape flowed behind her.

In her hand she carried a magnificent enchanted sword glowing with blue light.

Her long blonde hair danced in the magical wind surrounding her.

The portal snapped shut behind her.

Silence.

The woman looked around.

The Misfits stared.

Ye Olde Large Lad dropped his sausage roll.

For him, this was the highest form of shock.

The warrior raised an eyebrow.

"Where am I?"

Nobody answered.

"Hello?" she asked.

Funji Squallshy fainted.

The Govna sighed.

"Typical."

The woman looked down at the unconscious Misfit.

"Is he dead?"

"No," said Salty.

"Should he be?"

"Sometimes."

The woman laughed.

A genuine laugh.

The tension immediately disappeared.

Salty stepped forward.

"I'm Sgt. Salty."

She studied him carefully.

"You don't look like a Sergeant."

"I get that a lot."

The warrior nodded.

"I am Buffyra. Guardian of the Golden Kingdom."

WhizzAir Winky whispered.

"That's a cool name."

Buffyra smiled.

"Thank you."

Sarah stepped forward.

"What exactly is a Golden Kingdom?"

Buffyra's expression darkened.

"A world far beyond your own."

The air suddenly felt colder.

"The Kingdom of Aurelia."

Her sword flickered.

"A land of magic."

She paused.

"A land now under attack."

The Misfits exchanged nervous looks.

Salty had seen that look before.

It was the look people got just before explaining something that would become everybody else's problem.

Buffyra continued.

"A dark ruler known as Ron Beefmaster has united the Shadow Clans."

The name sent a chill through the clearing.

Even though none of them had heard it before.

"The worlds are weakening."

"The barriers are breaking."

"The darkness is spreading."

Susan frowned.

"Wait."

She pointed.

"Did you say Ron Beefmaster?"

Buffyra nodded.

The Misfits collectively groaned.

"Oh no," said Salty.

"Not another Ron."

Buffyra blinked.

"You know him?"

Salty rubbed his forehead.

"Not exactly."

"But every Ron we meet causes trouble."

"Every single one."

WhizzAir Winky nodded.

"The statistics don't lie."

Buffyra wasn't sure whether they were joking.

Unfortunately they weren't.

A distant roar echoed through the forest.

The ground trembled again.

This time everyone heard it.

Buffyra immediately drew her sword.

Blue light exploded across the clearing.

The enchanted blade hummed with power.

Her eyes narrowed.

"They found me."

"Who found you?" asked Sarah.

Buffyra pointed towards the trees.

"The Shadow Hunters."

A black mist crept between the trunks.

The temperature dropped.

Leaves turned grey.

Branches twisted unnaturally.

Something moved within the darkness.

Several somethings.

Yellow eyes appeared.

Then more.

Then dozens.

Ye Olde Large Lad swallowed nervously.

"I preferred the portal."

The creatures emerged.

Tall.

Thin.

Covered in black armour.

Glowing eyes burned like embers beneath their helmets.

Each carried a wicked blade.

The leader stepped forward.

"The Guardian has been located."

Its voice sounded like broken glass.

"Capture her."

The monsters charged.

Buffyra leapt forward.

Her sword flashed.

BOOM!

A wave of blue energy exploded outward.

Three Shadow Hunters flew backwards.

Salty pointed dramatically.

"Right then."

"Looks like we're doing this."

The Misfits looked horrified.

"Doing what?" asked WhizzAir Winky.

"Hero stuff."

The Misfits groaned.

Again.

Buffyra fought like a whirlwind.

Every movement was graceful.

Every strike precise.

Golden light danced around her as enemies fell.

Yet more emerged from the darkness.

Dozens became hundreds.

The forest seemed alive with shadows.

Even Buffyra began to struggle.

The leader raised its blade.

Dark energy gathered around it.

"This world shall fall."

"No," said Salty.

The creature turned.

"What?"

Salty adjusted his hi-vis vest.

"We've spent years cleaning this place."

"We're not letting some shadow goblins ruin it."

The creature stared.

Clearly nobody had spoken to it like that before.

Salty raised his litter picker.

The Misfits reluctantly joined him.

Buffyra smiled.

For the first time since arriving, she looked hopeful.

Perhaps she wasn't alone after all.

Perhaps these strange people could help.

Perhaps together they might stand against Ron Beefmaster and the darkness spreading across worlds.

Or perhaps they would all be eaten by shadow monsters.

At this point either seemed equally likely.

The Shadow Hunter leader roared.

The army surged forward.

Salty grinned.

Buffyra raised her sword.

The Misfits prepared for the fight of their lives.

And somewhere far beyond the stars...

In a fortress carved from black stone...

Ron Beefmaster smiled.

"Excellent."

"The game has begun."