Nice night for a walk

Nice Night for a Walk — Nothing Clean Right, Wash Day Tomorrow

Another BigSaltyDog Misfits Adventure

There are some evenings when you look out the window and think, What a beautiful night.

The sky is clear.

The moon is shining.

The stars are twinkling.

There is a gentle breeze in the air.

And then there are evenings when Stg. Salty looks at the same scene and thinks:

“Lads, grab your jackets. We’re going for a walk.”

Nobody knew where they were going.

Nobody knew how far they were walking.

And, most importantly, nobody had checked whether anybody had clean clothes.

That last detail would become extremely important.

The Misfits had gathered outside BigSaltyDog headquarters, ready for an evening hike through the countryside.

Salty was wearing his usual outdoor gear, complete with boots and a jacket.

Sarah and Susan were looking perfectly prepared, because unlike most of the men present, they had apparently remembered that hiking involved wearing appropriate clothing.

McFinleyyy arrived carrying a backpack that looked large enough to contain camping equipment, a television and possibly a small pub.

Whizzley had brought binoculars.

Nobody knew why.

Senior Miguel had brought a torch.

Dannyboy had brought snacks.

Govna had brought absolutely nothing.

“What did you bring?” Dannyboy asked.

“Myself.”

“That’s not equipment.”

“It is when you’re this handsome.”

Dannyboy stared at him.

“Jesus.”

Ye Olde Large Lad finally appeared.

He was wearing shorts.

It was October.

Everyone looked at him.

“What?”

“It’s freezing,” said Susan.

“I run hot.”

“You're wearing shorts.”

“I know.”

“Why?”

“Because all my trousers are in the wash.”

Salty shook his head.

“Lads, I think we’ve just discovered the theme of tonight.”

McFinleyyy smiled.

“Nothing clean right?”

Salty pointed at him.

“Exactly.”

And that was how the evening song was born.

As the Misfits started walking down the country lane, Salty suddenly began singing.

“Nice night for a walk…”

Dannyboy joined in.

“Nothing clean right…”

Govna added the final line.

“Wash day tomorrow!”

There was silence.

Everyone stared at them.

Then Whizzley started laughing.

Soon the entire group was singing.

“Nice night for a walk!

Nothing clean right!

Wash day tomorrow!”

They marched along like the world's least organised hiking choir.

Senior Miguel added his own verse.

“Nice night for a stroll…”

McFinleyyy continued.

“Nothing clean at all…”

Ye Olde Large Lad shouted:

“MY SOCKS ARE ON THEIR THIRD DAY!”

Sarah nearly fell over laughing.

“Large Lad!”

“What? They’re good socks.”

Susan shook her head.

“This is romantic.”

Salty looked at her.

“Romantic?”

“Moonlight, stars, countryside…”

She looked at the Misfits.

“…and whatever this is.”

Salty smiled.

“That's the BigSaltyDog way.”

The group continued deeper into the countryside.

The moonlight was beautiful.

The trees moved gently in the breeze.

Somewhere in the distance, an owl hooted.

Then Dannyboy ruined the atmosphere.

“Anyone else starving?”

“Already?” asked McFinleyyy.

“We've been walking for twenty minutes.”

“Exactly.”

Govna nodded.

“I could eat.”

Senior Miguel looked at him.

“You could eat after breakfast.”

“That was six hours ago.”

“It was two hours ago.”

“Exactly. Six hours emotionally.”

Whizzley suddenly pointed towards the horizon.

“Look!”

Everyone stopped.

“What?”

“I see lights!”

Salty grabbed the binoculars.

“Where?”

“There.”

Salty looked.

Then he lowered the binoculars.

“That’s a house.”

Whizzley looked embarrassed.

“Oh.”

Ye Olde Large Lad sighed.

“I thought it was Big Al’s Burgers.”

The entire group stopped.

Nobody said anything.

Then McFinleyyy slowly turned around.

“Did someone say Big Al’s Burgers?”

Dannyboy's eyes widened.

“Burgers?”

Govna immediately changed direction.

“Come on.”

Salty grabbed him by the jacket.

“Where are you going?”

“On a spiritual journey.”

“To Big Al’s.”

“Exactly.”

Sarah laughed.

“You're all hopeless.”

The hike suddenly became a burger expedition.

The romantic moonlit walk had transformed into a desperate search for food.

But somewhere along the way, something rather lovely happened.

Salty and Sarah fell slightly behind the rest of the group.

The noise of the Misfits faded into the distance.

For a moment, everything was quiet.

The moon was shining over the trees.

Sarah smiled.

“You know, this is actually beautiful.”

Salty nodded.

“It is.”

“No shouting.”

“No arguments.”

“No one asking where the burgers are.”

They both smiled.

Then, from somewhere ahead, came a distant shout.

“WHERE'S BIG AL'S?”

Sarah burst out laughing.

“So much for peaceful.”

Salty smiled.

“You know what?”

“What?”

“I wouldn't change them.”

Sarah looked at him.

“Not even Large Lad?”

“Well…”

They both laughed.

Salty reached out and took her hand.

For once, there was no shouting.

No ridiculous arguments.

No tank.

No motorway chaos.

No one trying to eat something they probably shouldn't.

Just the two of them walking beneath the stars.

Sarah squeezed his hand.

“This is nice.”

Salty smiled.

“Yeah.”

Then a voice came from ahead.

“ARE YOU TWO COMING OR WHAT?”

It was Ye Olde Large Lad.

Salty sighed.

“Romance is officially over.”

Sarah laughed.

They caught up with the others.

The Misfits were standing at the edge of a field.

McFinleyyy was staring at a sign.

Senior Miguel was studying a map.

Whizzley was looking through his binoculars again.

Dannyboy was eating crisps.

Govna was arguing with him about sharing them.

And Large Lad was still convinced he could smell burgers.

“Where are we?” asked Salty.

Senior Miguel looked at the map.

“Somewhere between here and Big Al’s.”

“That’s not very helpful.”

“I never said it was.”

Suddenly, Dannyboy pointed.

“Look!”

In the distance, they could see lights.

This time, everyone looked.

It wasn't a house.

It wasn't a car.

It wasn't a distant farmhouse.

It was a sign.

BIG AL’S BURGERS.

The Misfits erupted.

“BURGER TIME!”

They charged towards it like an army.

Salty watched them disappear down the lane.

Sarah stood beside him.

“You coming?”

Salty smiled.

“Eventually.”

Then he heard Ye Olde Large Lad shouting.

“IF YOU DON'T HURRY, I'M ORDERING TWO!”

Salty immediately started running.

“I'm coming!”

Inside Big Al’s Burgers, the Misfits took over a large table.

Dannyboy ordered a burger.

Govna ordered a burger.

McFinleyyy ordered a burger.

Whizzley ordered a burger.

Senior Miguel ordered a burger.

Large Lad ordered what could only be described as a burger construction project.

Salty looked at him.

“What is that?”

“Dinner.”

“That’s a tower.”

“It has structural integrity.”

Sarah and Susan were laughing.

Even Govna was impressed.

“You could rent that out as accommodation.”

The food arrived.

For five minutes, there was complete silence.

Not because everyone had suddenly become peaceful.

Because everyone was eating.

Then Dannyboy raised his burger.

“To the Misfits.”

Everyone raised theirs.

“To the Misfits!”

Salty smiled.

“Same time next week?”

Everyone groaned.

Sarah laughed.

“Maybe somewhere without hills.”

Large Lad nodded.

“And somewhere with clean clothes.”

Whizzley looked at him.

“Your washing machine is broken?”

“No.”

“Then why don't you wash your clothes?”

Large Lad looked offended.

“Because tomorrow is wash day.”

Everyone stared at him.

Salty shook his head.

“Fair enough.”

And as the Misfits finished their burgers, the evening came to an end.

They had started with a peaceful walk beneath the stars.

They had discovered that nobody had clean clothes.

They had created a song.

They had nearly got lost.

They had turned a romantic hike into a burger hunt.

And somehow, despite all the madness, it had been one of those evenings nobody would forget.

Outside, the moon was still shining.

The countryside was quiet.

Sarah slipped her arm around Salty.

He smiled.

“Nice night for a walk.”

She smiled back.

“Nothing clean right.”

They both laughed.

And from behind them came the familiar voice of Ye Olde Large Lad.

“WASH DAY TOMORROW!”

The entire Misfits gang joined in.

“NICE NIGHT FOR A WALK!

NOTHING CLEAN RIGHT!

WASH DAY TOMORROW!”

And with that, the Misfits disappeared into the Irish night, singing at the top of their lungs, carrying half-eaten burgers and absolutely no idea where they were going next.

But one thing was certain.

Wherever they ended up, BigSaltyDog would have another story to tell.

And probably another load of washing...