The Misfits Go to the United Nations

 

The Misfits Go to the United Nations

There are certain places in the world where you simply don't expect to see Stg. Salty and the Misfits.

The United Nations headquarters was definitely one of them.

It was a crisp morning when Salty stood outside the building, sunglasses on, coffee in one hand and a folder tucked neatly under his arm.

Behind him stood Sarah, Susan, Lucy, Dinkz, Winkz, Whizzley, Quags, McFinleyyy and Ye Olde Large Lad.

Ye Olde Large Lad, naturally, was wearing a Hawaiian shirt.

Salty looked over his shoulder.

"You're actually wearing that?"

Large Lad looked down at himself.

"Of course."

"We're going into the United Nations."

"I know."

"Into an international diplomatic organisation."

"I know."

"And you've chosen a Hawaiian shirt."

Large Lad smiled.

"I thought it would brighten the place up."

Dinkz nodded thoughtfully.

"Technically, he's got a point. If we're going to represent ordinary people, looking like we're enjoying ourselves might be a useful diplomatic statement."

Salty sighed.

"Fine. But if anyone asks, you're with the cultural delegation."

"Excellent," said Large Lad.

"What culture?"

"Holiday culture."

Lucy laughed.

"At least he's committed."

The Misfits had not travelled to the United Nations because they had suddenly developed ambitions to become world leaders.

They had come because an invitation had arrived.

Nobody was entirely sure why.

The letter had been addressed to Stg. Salty and the Misfits, requesting their attendance at a discussion concerning community engagement, civic participation and the role of ordinary people in addressing problems within their communities.

Sarah had read the invitation twice.

Susan had checked that it was genuine.

Dinkz had researched the event.

Lucy had organised the schedule.

Winkz had sorted transport.

Whizzley had checked the timings.

And Salty had done what Salty always did.

He had turned up.

"This is actually quite serious," Sarah said as they approached security.

"I know," said Salty.

"No messing around."

"I know."

"No tanks."

Everyone looked at him.

Salty raised an eyebrow.

"Don't even think about it."

Quags shrugged.

"I wasn't going to say anything."

"You were."

"I was thinking it."

"That's close enough."

McFinleyyy adjusted his jacket.

"Does the UN have a café?"

Sarah looked at him.

"McFinleyyy."

"What?"

"We're here for diplomacy."

"People need feeding during diplomacy."

Dinkz nodded.

"He's actually right. Food is one of the few things that can bring people together."

McFinleyyy smiled.

"Thank you."

"Don't encourage him," Salty muttered.

---

Inside, the atmosphere changed.

The Misfits had joked about the trip all morning, but once they entered the building, they became noticeably more serious.

There were people from different countries, different organisations and different backgrounds moving through the corridors.

Languages could be heard everywhere.

Salty looked around.

"This is impressive."

"It is," said Susan.

"And we're actually part of today's programme."

Sarah smiled.

"Yes."

Salty straightened his jacket.

"Right."

Quags noticed.

"Are you nervous?"

"No."

"You've adjusted your jacket three times."

Salty looked down.

"I like it sitting properly."

"You're nervous."

"I'm not nervous."

Dinkz smiled.

"You're nervous."

Salty pointed at him.

"You're supposed to be on my side."

"I am. I'm just also observant."

Winkz laughed.

"This is going to be interesting."

---

The first meeting went surprisingly well.

There was no shouting.

No ridiculous arguments.

No one drove a tank through the building.

The Misfits listened.

They asked sensible questions.

They spoke about community involvement, volunteering, local projects and how people could become more engaged in their neighbourhoods.

Sarah spoke about the importance of giving people a reason to participate.

Susan talked about communication.

Lucy discussed organisation and keeping volunteers motivated.

Dinkz made several thoughtful points about how local groups could use digital platforms to reach people who might otherwise never become involved.

Winkz talked about getting younger people interested.

Whizzley discussed practical community projects.

And then Salty was invited to speak.

He looked down at his notes.

Then he put them away.

"I could read this," he said, "but I think I'll just talk."

The room became quiet.

"People don't always need another committee, another form or another meeting. Sometimes they just need someone to say, 'Come on, let's get something done.'"

Sarah smiled.

Salty continued.

"You don't need to be famous. You don't need a big budget. You don't even need to agree on everything. You just need enough people who care about where they live to start doing something."

Dinkz nodded.

"Exactly."

Salty glanced around the room.

"And once people see something improving, even something small, they start believing they can make a difference."

There was a moment of silence.

Then applause.

The Misfits looked at each other.

Quags whispered to McFinleyyy.

"That was actually good."

McFinleyyy nodded.

"Very good."

"I was expecting something involving the tank."

"So was I."

---

During the break, the Misfits found themselves surrounded by people wanting to speak with them.

One representative asked about their community projects.

Another wanted to know how their group had managed to keep people involved.

Someone else wanted to hear about Salty's approach to leadership.

Salty answered everything seriously.

Meanwhile, McFinleyyy had disappeared.

Sarah looked around.

"Where's McFinleyyy?"

Everyone looked at each other.

"Food," said Quags.

"Definitely food," said Lucy.

They eventually found him standing beside a refreshment table.

"McFinleyyy."

He turned around.

"Yes?"

"You disappeared."

"I was conducting important research."

Sarah stared at him.

"Research?"

"Yes."

"What did you discover?"

McFinleyyy pointed towards the table.

"The sandwiches are excellent."

There was a pause.

Dinkz nodded.

"Important information."

"Thank you."

Salty walked over.

"How many?"

"Two."

"Two sandwiches?"

"At the moment."

Quags laughed.

"That's McFinleyyy being restrained."

---

Then came the moment nobody had expected.

A senior official approached Salty.

"I understand you have a rather unusual group."

Salty smiled.

"We've been told that before."

"I've heard about your community work."

"That's good."

"And I've also heard about the tank."

Salty paused.

"The tank?"

"The Leopard 2."

The Misfits burst out laughing.

Salty looked at Dinkz.

Dinkz looked at Salty.

Large Lad folded his arms.

"See? International recognition."

Salty shook his head.

"That tank was never intended to become part of our diplomatic identity."

Quags raised his hand.

"Could it?"

"No."

"What if we painted it?"

"No."

"What if we put a UN flag on it?"

"Absolutely not."

"What if—"

"No."

Quags nodded.

"Fair enough."

---

Later that afternoon, the Misfits attended a round-table discussion.

This time, the conversation became more serious.

They talked about how communities could respond when people felt disconnected from local decision-making.

The Misfits didn't pretend to have all the answers.

Instead, they talked about what had worked for them.

Small projects.

Regular events.

People being made to feel welcome.

Clear communication.

And, perhaps most importantly, having a laugh occasionally.

Because, as Lucy pointed out, volunteering shouldn't always feel like another job.

"You want people to come because they enjoy being there," she said.

Sarah agreed.

"Exactly. If people feel valued, they're more likely to come back."

Dinkz added, "And if something doesn't work, change it. There's no point defending a system simply because you've always done it that way."

Salty looked around the table.

"That's probably the most important thing we've learned."

Everyone listened.

"Don't wait for perfect conditions. If you wait until everything is perfect, you'll never start."

There was another round of nods.

For once, nobody interrupted.

Not even Quags.

---

As the day came to an end, the Misfits gathered outside.

The sun was beginning to drop.

Salty looked at the building.

"Well."

Sarah smiled.

"We survived."

Susan laughed.

"And nobody got arrested."

"Always a positive," said Winkz.

Whizzley checked his phone.

"We've got forty minutes before the car."

"Perfect," said Quags.

McFinleyyy looked at him.

"What's perfect?"

"Dinner."

McFinleyyy nodded approvingly.

"Now you're talking."

Ye Olde Large Lad stretched.

"I'm starving."

Salty looked at him.

"You've eaten twice since breakfast."

"International diplomacy is exhausting."

Dinkz laughed.

"You've spent most of today discussing community engagement while wearing a Hawaiian shirt."

Large Lad looked down.

"And I've done it successfully."

"Fair point."

They began walking.

Then Salty stopped.

"Hang on."

Everyone turned.

"What?"

Salty pointed back towards the building.

"We've forgotten something."

Sarah looked concerned.

"What?"

Salty smiled.

"The group photo."

Everyone groaned.

"Come on," said Salty.

"We're at the United Nations. We're getting a photo."

They lined up.

Sarah, Susan, Lucy, Dinkz, Winkz, Whizzley, Quags, McFinleyyy and Ye Olde Large Lad stood beside Salty.

Large Lad adjusted his Hawaiian shirt.

Quags stood beside McFinleyyy.

McFinleyyy was still holding half a sandwich.

Salty looked at the camera.

"Everyone ready?"

"Yes."

"McFinleyyy, put the sandwich down."

"No."

"Fine."

The photograph was taken.

And that was how the Misfits ended their day at the United Nations.

No international incident.

No diplomatic crisis.

No tank.

No arrests.

Just a group of friends who had somehow found themselves in one of the most important international buildings in the world and, remarkably, had managed to behave themselves.

Mostly.

As they walked away, Sarah looked at Salty.

"You know what?"

"What?"

"We actually did alright today."

Salty smiled.

"Yeah."

Dinkz nodded.

"We made some good points."

Susan agreed.

"And hopefully someone listened."

Quags suddenly stopped.

"Guys."

Everyone turned.

"What?"

"I've just had a thought."

Salty immediately looked suspicious.

"What?"

Quags grinned.

"Next stop..."

He paused dramatically.

"The European Parliament."

Everyone stared at him.

Salty shook his head.

"No."

Quags smiled.

"Just planting the seed."

McFinleyyy raised his sandwich.

"I'll go."

Large Lad nodded.

"So will I."

Winkz laughed.

"Of course you will."

Salty walked on.

"You're all a nightmare."

Sarah caught up beside him.

"You love it really."

Salty smiled.

"Maybe."

Behind them, Ye Olde Large Lad's Hawaiian shirt disappeared into the crowd.

And somewhere inside the United Nations, somebody was probably still wondering exactly who the Misfits were.

The answer was simple.

They were ordinary people.

They weren't politicians.

They weren't diplomats.

They weren't trying to run the world.

They were simply a group of friends who believed that if something needed doing, you could always start by getting a few people together and having a go.

And if that happened to involve a sandwich, a Hawaiian shirt and the occasional Leopard 2 tank...

Well.

That was just how the Misfits did diplomacy.