Chapter 4 A Salty crossover

 

🥳 STG. SALTY AND THE MISFITS

Chapter 4 — Roger Organises the Party

Roger had a plan.

This was never a good sign.

He stood in the Smith family's living room wearing a sequinned dinner jacket, holding a clipboard and looking extremely pleased with himself.

“Ladies, gentlemen, Misfits, Griffins, Smiths and assorted people who have wandered in from the street…”

Everyone turned towards him.

“I, Roger Smith, am organising the greatest party Langley Falls has ever seen!”

Stan immediately shook his head.

“No.”

Roger looked offended.

“I haven't even explained the party.”

“I don't care.”

“But I've hired entertainment!”

“No.”

“Caterers!”

“No.”

“A DJ!”

“No.”

“A magician!”

Stan paused.

“…Maybe.”

Roger grinned.

“Excellent. It's happening.”

---

THE GUEST LIST

Roger had prepared a guest list.

Unfortunately, he had not prepared a small guest list.

It contained approximately 600 names.

Stan stared at it.

“Roger, why does this list include the President?”

“I know people.”

“Why is there a football team?”

“I know people.”

“Why is there a medieval knight?”

“I know people.”

“Why is there someone called Trevor from Cork?”

Roger smiled.

“I definitely know people.”

Salty walked over.

“Roger, who's actually coming?”

Roger looked at the list.

“Everyone.”

Salty nodded.

“That's concerning.”

Quags appeared behind him.

“Will there be dancing?”

Roger's eyes lit up.

“Dancing?”

Quags nodded.

“Absolutely.”

Roger grabbed the microphone.

“DJ! TURN IT UP!”

The music exploded from the speakers.

Quags raised both arms.

“SUPER GIGGGIDDDDYYYY!”

From across the room came Quagmire.

“GIGGIDY!”

They high-fived.

Peter Griffin immediately started dancing.

“COME ON!”

Brian stared at him.

“Peter, you're dancing to music that hasn't even got a beat.”

Peter shrugged.

“I make my own beat.”

---

ROGER'S DRESS CODE

Roger had decided that everyone needed a dress code.

Unfortunately, nobody knew about it.

Roger had chosen:

“Hollywood Glamour Meets Irish Country Wedding Meets 1980s Action Film.”

Stan walked downstairs wearing a normal shirt.

Roger gasped.

“Stan!”

“What?”

“You didn't follow the dress code.”

“What dress code?”

Roger looked horrified.

“You didn't get the invitation?”

“No.”

“I sent it.”

“When?”

“Tuesday.”

“It's Wednesday.”

“Yes.”

“So you gave me one day's notice?”

Roger nodded.

“Exactly.”

Stan stared at him.

“You're unbelievable.”

Salty walked downstairs wearing a sharp suit, sunglasses and a green tie.

Roger nodded approvingly.

“Now that's how you dress for a party.”

Stan looked at Salty.

“Why does he look better dressed than me?”

Francine smiled.

“He just does.”

Stan frowned.

“I'm going upstairs.”

---

THE FOOD

Roger had hired a catering company.

The catering company had misunderstood the instructions.

Roger had asked for:

“An extravagant international buffet.”

They had interpreted this as:

EVERYTHING.

There were burgers.

Pizza.

Sausages.

Curry.

Tacos.

Chinese food.

Chips.

Irish stew.

American pancakes.

Donuts.

Cupcakes.

Cheesecake.

And an enormous chocolate fountain.

McFinleyyy stared at the table.

“This is magnificent.”

Ye Olde Large Lad walked over.

“Where's the meat?”

McFinleyyy pointed.

“There.”

Large Lad stared.

“That's not enough.”

He picked up an entire tray.

McFinleyyy watched in amazement.

“Did you just eat twelve burgers?”

Large Lad nodded.

“Starter.”

---

SENIOR SALTY'S BAR

Senior Salty had taken charge of the drinks.

He had created a small bar in the corner.

A sign read:

SENIOR SALTY'S — NO WHINGING

Senior Miguel walked over.

“What are you serving?”

“Everything.”

“Tea?”

Senior Salty looked offended.

“Of course.”

Senior Miguel nodded.

“Good man.”

Five minutes later, there was a queue for tea stretching through the kitchen.

Brian Griffin stared at it.

“You people really do love tea.”

Senior Miguel handed him a mug.

“You'll learn.”

Brian took a sip.

He paused.

“…That's actually excellent.”

Senior Miguel smiled.

“I told you.”

---

THE ENTERTAINMENT

Roger had promised a magician.

The magician arrived.

He was introduced as The Amazing Magnifico.

He stepped onto the stage.

“Ladies and gentlemen, prepare to witness the impossible!”

He pulled a rabbit from a hat.

Everyone clapped.

Then Quags whispered something to Quagmire.

Quagmire nodded.

The two of them stepped onto the stage.

Quagmire grabbed the microphone.

“Ladies and gentlemen…”

Quags continued:

“We have a trick of our own.”

Roger looked nervous.

“What trick?”

Quags smiled.

“Making the buffet disappear.”

Peter immediately ran towards them.

“CAN I HELP?”

The magician packed his suitcase.

“I'm leaving.”

---

THE DANCE FLOOR

By 10pm, the party was in full swing.

Francine was dancing with Lois.

Sarah and Susan were dancing with Lucy and Laura.

Govna had somehow become DJ.

Whizz was jumping around with Peter.

Chris was attempting an Irish dance with Ye Olde Large Lad.

And Stan stood at the edge of the dance floor.

Salty walked over.

“You not dancing?”

Stan shook his head.

“I'm supervising.”

“Supervising?”

“Yep.”

Salty nodded.

“You've been supervising for forty minutes.”

Stan shrugged.

“Someone has to.”

Francine walked over.

“Come on, Stan.”

“I don't dance.”

She grabbed his hand.

“You do tonight.”

Stan smiled.

“Fine.”

They started dancing.

Salty smiled.

“See? Nothing to worry about.”

Stan looked at him.

“Don't get comfortable.”

Salty laughed.

---

ROGER'S BIG SURPRISE

Roger suddenly appeared on stage.

“EVERYBODY!”

The music stopped.

The room went quiet.

Roger raised his arms.

“I have one final surprise!”

Peter shouted:

“IS IT FOOD?”

“No!”

“Then I'm disappointed already.”

Roger pointed towards the doors.

They opened.

Standing outside was…

THE LEOPARD 2.

Everyone cheered.

Stan's jaw dropped.

“ROGER!”

Roger smiled.

“Don't worry.”

Stan pointed.

“WHY IS THE TANK HERE?”

“Party transport.”

“TRANSPORT TO WHERE?”

Roger grinned.

“That's the surprise.”

Salty walked over.

“Roger…”

“Yes?”

“Where are we going?”

Roger climbed onto the tank.

“Somewhere unforgettable!”

Quags and Quagmire climbed up beside him.

Quags raised his arms.

“GIGGGIDDDDYYYY!”

Quagmire joined in.

“GIGGIDY!”

Peter jumped aboard.

“ROAD TRIP!”

Stan looked at Francine.

“Are we really doing this?”

Francine smiled.

“Why not?”

Stan sighed.

“Fine.”

---

THE MISFITS TAKE OVER

Within minutes, everyone was aboard.

Salty climbed into the driver's seat.

Whizz sat beside him.

Roger stood proudly in the hatch.

The Misfits cheered.

The Griffins cheered.

The Smiths cheered.

Senior Salty shouted:

“DON'T SCRATCH IT!”

Senior Miguel added:

“AND DON'T BREAK ANYTHING!”

There was a pause.

Roger looked at the dashboard.

“Which button starts it?”

Salty slowly turned around.

“Roger…”

“What?”

“Don't touch anything.”

Roger nodded.

“Of course.”

Three seconds later:

BEEP.

Everyone looked at him.

Roger smiled innocently.

“Wasn't me.”

Stan groaned.

The engine roared.

BRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

The tank rolled into the night.

Peter stood in the hatch waving.

“BEST PARTY EVER!”

Quags and Quagmire shouted together:

“SUPER GIGGGIDDDDYYYYYYYY!”

Francine laughed.

Stan shook his head.

Salty grinned.

And Roger looked incredibly proud of himself.

“This,” he announced, “is how you organise a party.”

The tank disappeared into the distance.

A police siren could be heard behind them.

Roger looked over his shoulder.

“Uh-oh.”

Salty sighed.

“What's happened now?”

Roger smiled.

“Nothing.”

A police car came around the corner.

Roger waved.

“HELLO!”

Stan buried his face in his hands.

TO BE CONTINUED… 🥳🎉🇮🇪🇺🇸