Chapter 3 A Salty crossover

 

🇺🇸 STG. SALTY AND THE MISFITS

Chapter 3 — Super Gigggiddddyyyy!!!

It had been exactly twelve hours since Stan Smith had promised himself that things couldn't possibly get any stranger.

He was wrong.

Very, very wrong.

The Smith family were gathered around the kitchen table when there was a knock at the door.

Stan opened it.

Standing outside was Peter Griffin.

Behind him were Lois, Chris, Meg, Stewie, Brian and Glenn Quagmire.

Peter smiled.

“Hi! We're the Griffin family.”

Stan stared.

“Why?”

Peter shrugged.

“Apparently there's some sort of crossover thing happening.”

Stan looked behind him.

Salty and the Misfits were already cheering.

“THE GRIFFINS!”

Peter walked in.

“Where's the food?”

Stan sighed.

“Of course.”

THE TWO QUAGS

While everyone was introducing themselves, Quags was standing quietly in the corner.

Then he saw Glenn Quagmire.

Glenn saw him.

They stared at each other.

Quags tilted his head.

Quagmire tilted his head.

Quags took one step forward.

Quagmire took one step forward.

They stopped.

Peter looked between them.

“What's happening?”

Quags finally spoke.

“Are you… Quagmire?”

Glenn grinned.

“Yep.”

Quags pointed at himself.

“I'm Quags.”

Glenn's eyes widened.

“No way.”

Quags nodded.

“Way.”

There was silence.

Then both men slowly raised their arms.

“GIGGIDY!”

“GIGGGIDDDDYYYY!”

The entire room erupted.

Salty nearly fell off his chair.

McFinleyyy was crying with laughter.

Whizz was banging the table.

Ye Olde Large Lad shouted:

“WE'VE FOUND HIS PEOPLE!”

Senior Miguel looked confused.

“Is this some sort of American greeting?”

Senior Salty nodded seriously.

“I believe it is.”

Peter shook his head.

“No, it definitely isn't.”

---

THE QUAGS BROTHERS

Within minutes, Quags and Quagmire had become inseparable.

They discovered they had an astonishing amount in common.

Both enjoyed inappropriate jokes.

Both enjoyed making everyone else uncomfortable.

Both had absolutely no sense of when to stop.

And both could say “gigiddy” in approximately seventeen different ways.

Quags stood on the sofa.

“GIGGGIDDDDYYYY!”

Quagmire climbed onto the armchair.

“GIGGIDY GIGGIDY GIGGIDY!”

Quags jumped onto the coffee table.

“SUPER GIGGGIDDDDYYYY!”

Peter covered his ears.

“Make it stop!”

Brian looked at him.

“You invited them.”

“I didn't know there'd be two!”

---

STEWIE MEETS THE MISFITS

Meanwhile, Stewie had discovered the Misfits.

He walked up to Ye Olde Large Lad.

“You're enormous.”

Large Lad nodded.

“Thank you.”

“That wasn't a compliment.”

“I'll take it anyway.”

Stewie looked at McFinleyyy.

“And who are you?”

“McFinleyyy.”

“And what do you do?”

“Mostly eat.”

Stewie nodded.

“Finally, someone with ambition.”

Sarah and Susan were laughing nearby.

Lucy and Laura were taking photographs.

Govna had somehow found the fridge.

Senior Salty was chatting with Peter about cars.

Senior Miguel was trying to explain Irish tea-making to Brian.

Brian looked exhausted.

“Why is there so much tea?”

Miguel looked shocked.

“Because we're Irish.”

Brian paused.

“Right.”

---

FRANCINE AND LOIS BECOME FRIENDS

Francine and Lois had quickly discovered that they had something in common.

They were both married to complete lunatics.

Lois looked across the room at Peter.

Francine looked at Stan.

They sighed simultaneously.

Lois said:

“Does he always do that?”

Francine nodded.

“Pretty much.”

Stan suddenly shouted:

“Francine!”

She turned.

“What?”

“Where's my gun?”

“Why?”

“I've misplaced it.”

Lois looked at Francine.

“See?”

Francine nodded.

“Every day.”

They clinked their coffee mugs together.

---

STAN IS JEALOUS AGAIN

Unfortunately, Stan had noticed that Salty and Francine were laughing together again.

He narrowed his eyes.

Peter noticed.

“You jealous?”

Stan immediately stood upright.

“No.”

Peter nodded.

“Yep. Definitely jealous.”

Stan pointed at him.

“Stay out of this, Griffin.”

Peter smiled.

“I'm a relationship expert.”

Brian walked past.

“No, you're absolutely not.”

Peter ignored him.

Stan walked over to Salty.

“Everything okay?”

Salty looked at him.

“Yeah, mate.”

“You're not flirting with Francine again, are you?”

Salty laughed.

“Stan, I'm only talking to her.”

Stan looked suspicious.

“That's how it starts.”

Francine rolled her eyes.

“Oh, Stan.”

Salty grinned.

“Don't worry. Your wife is safe.”

Stan relaxed.

Then Salty added:

“Mostly.”

Stan's face dropped.

“Salty!”

Everyone laughed.

---

THE BIG ANNOUNCEMENT

Suddenly, Roger burst into the room wearing a tuxedo, sunglasses and a giant cowboy hat.

“I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT!”

Everyone turned.

Roger raised a microphone.

“Tonight, we are holding the First Annual Langley Falls Griffin-Smith-Misfit Friendship Party!”

Peter raised his hand.

“Is there food?”

“Yes.”

“I'm in.”

Roger continued.

“There will be music, dancing, karaoke, games and—”

Quags and Quagmire appeared beside him.

“GIGGIDY!”

Roger looked at them.

“No.”

Quags smiled.

“GIGGIDY?”

“No.”

Quagmire grinned.

“GIGGGIDDDDYYYY?”

Roger sighed.

“Fine.”

---

THE PARTY

By 9pm, the Smith house was completely packed.

Peter was eating everything.

Chris was talking to Large Lad.

Meg was chatting with Sarah and Susan.

Stewie was plotting something with Roger.

Brian was drinking tea with Senior Miguel.

Stan was attempting to maintain order.

And Quags and Quagmire?

They had found the karaoke machine.

Quags grabbed the microphone.

“Ladies and gentlemen…”

Quagmire grabbed the second microphone.

“…prepare yourselves.”

They looked at each other.

Then shouted together:

“SUPER GIGGGIDDDDYYYY!”

The music started.

Peter immediately began dancing.

Francine joined in.

Lois joined Francine.

Sarah and Susan joined.

Lucy and Laura joined.

Even Stan eventually gave up trying to maintain control.

Salty stood at the side laughing.

McFinleyyy handed him a drink.

“Think this will end well?”

Salty looked around.

Peter was dancing with Roger.

Stewie was riding around on Ye Olde Large Lad's shoulders.

Whizz had somehow climbed onto the roof.

Govna was attempting to barbecue sausages indoors.

And Quags and Quagmire were still screaming “GIGGIDY!”

Salty shook his head.

“Absolutely not.”

He smiled.

“But it'll be brilliant.”

Suddenly, Whizz shouted from the roof:

“EVERYONE LOOK!”

Everyone looked up.

Whizz had somehow found the Leopard 2.

He was sitting on top of it wearing a cowboy hat.

Stan screamed.

“WHY IS THE TANK ON MY ROOF?”

Salty looked confused.

“I thought we'd parked it outside.”

Quags shouted:

“QUAGMIRE!”

Quagmire shouted back:

“QUAGS!”

“READY?”

“READY!”

Both took a deep breath.

Then together:

“GIGGGGIIIIIDDDDDYYYYYYYYYYYY!”

The tank horn blasted.

HOOOOOOOOONK!

The entire neighbourhood lit up.

Stan looked at Francine.

Francine looked at Stan.

Peter looked at everyone.

“This is the best party we've ever had.”

Brian sighed.

“It's also probably the worst.”

Stan stared at the chaos.

Then, reluctantly, he smiled.

“You know what?”

Salty looked at him.

“What?”

Stan raised his drink.

“This isn't so bad.”

A sausage flew past his head.

THWACK!

Stan ducked.

“Okay. It's terrible.”

Everyone burst out laughing.

And from somewhere outside came the unmistakable cry:

“SUPER GIGGGIDDDDYYYY!”

TO BE CONTINUED… 🇺🇸🇮🇪