Senior Miguel gets a lift

 

🇮🇪 Rescuing Senior Miguel from Dublin’s Fair City in the Ice & Snow

Stg. Salty was out doing repairs in the Leopard 2 tank, while McFinleyyy was assisting him.

“Pass me that wrench like a good fellow, McFinleyyy,” said Salty, half his body disappearing underneath the massive German machine.

McFinleyyy obliged.

“Here you go, Salty.”

“Perfect. Now pass me the other one.”

“The other one?”

“The bigger one.”

“There are about twenty bloody wrenches here.”

“I know. I need the one that looks like a wrench.”

McFinleyyy sighed.

This was going to be a long afternoon.

The Leopard 2 was parked up outside, covered in a light dusting of snow. Dublin had been hit with one of those rare winter days where the entire city seemed to grind to a halt. Roads were icy, pavements were treacherous, taxis had mysteriously disappeared, and the temperature had dropped to something Salty described as “absolutely bloody Baltic.”

Then the phone rang.

Salty climbed out from underneath the tank.

“Who is that?”

McFinleyyy checked the phone.

“It’s Senior Miguel.”

“Answer it.”

McFinleyyy pressed the button.

“Hello, Senior Miguel?”

A voice came through the speaker.

“Lads! I need assistance!”

Salty immediately became serious.

“What’s the situation?”

“No taxis.”

“Right.”

“And no tacos.”

Salty paused.

“Did you say taxis or tacos?”

“Both!”

McFinleyyy burst out laughing.

Senior Miguel continued.

“I’m stranded in Dublin’s fair city. It’s freezing. There’s ice everywhere. I’ve been standing here so long I think my feet have become part of the pavement.”

Salty looked at McFinleyyy.

“Sounds like a job for the Leopard.”

McFinleyyy nodded.

“Definitely.”

Five minutes later, the two men climbed into the tank.

Salty slammed the hatch shut.

“Right, McFinleyyy. Operation Senior Miguel is officially underway.”

The engine roared into life.

The snow immediately began flying everywhere.

Salty grinned.

“Nothing gets through the Leopard 2.”

McFinleyyy looked out through the viewing system.

“Except possibly the Luas.”

“Don't worry about the Luas.”

They headed towards Dublin.

The roads were covered in ice, but the Leopard 2 simply trundled along as though it were a summer afternoon.

They went through Coolock, where Salty suddenly decided that the most sensible thing to do was spin the tank around in the snow.

“Hold on!”

“Why?”

“Because we're doing a 360.”

“Salty, why?”

“Because we can.”

The Leopard 2 swung around in a spectacular snowy circle.

Snow went everywhere.

McFinleyyy was thrown sideways.

“SALTY!”

“What?”

“You've just done a tank doughnut!”

“It's called advanced winter manoeuvring.”

“It looked like a doughnut!”

Salty smiled.

“Exactly.”

Eventually, they reached Dublin city centre.

The streets were eerily quiet.

Normally Dublin would have been full of traffic, buses, pedestrians and people rushing around with takeaway coffees.

Today, however, there were only a handful of brave souls attempting to negotiate the icy streets.

Then McFinleyyy spotted someone waving frantically.

“There!”

Salty looked through the viewing system.

“Is that Senior Miguel?”

“I think so.”

The Leopard 2 rolled forward.

Senior Miguel's face lit up.

“THE LADS!”

Salty opened the hatch.

“Get in!”

Senior Miguel approached the tank, wrapped in several coats, scarves and whatever else he could find.

“I'm delighted to see you!”

“We're delighted to see you too,” said McFinleyyy.

Senior Miguel climbed aboard.

Then he stopped.

“Actually…”

Salty looked suspicious.

“What?”

“Can you give these women a lift as well, please?”

Salty stared at him.

McFinleyyy stared at him.

Senior Miguel gestured towards a small group of women who were standing nearby in the freezing conditions.

Salty scratched his chin.

“Hmmmm.”

He looked around the Leopard.

“There's just enough room for them.”

McFinleyyy raised an eyebrow.

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely.”

One by one, the women climbed aboard.

The atmosphere inside the tank became considerably more cheerful.

Senior Miguel sat back and sighed with relief.

“Ahhhh. This is much better.”

One of the women looked around.

“So… this is a tank?”

Salty nodded proudly.

“Leopard 2.”

“Does it have heating?”

Salty looked at McFinleyyy.

McFinleyyy looked at Salty.

“Of course it has heating,” Salty replied confidently.

McFinleyyy whispered, “Does it?”

Salty whispered back.

“It will if we say it does.”

The tank rolled through Dublin.

People on the streets stopped and stared.

Cars pulled over.

A man outside a closed café looked at the Leopard 2 and simply shook his head.

“Only in Dublin.”

Salty was enjoying every second of it.

“Senior Miguel, where are we dropping you?”

“Home!”

“And the ladies?”

“Home too, please.”

Salty nodded.

“Very good.”

The Leopard continued through the snowy streets.

At one point, they encountered a particularly slippery section of road.

McFinleyyy looked nervous.

“Salty…”

“I've got this.”

The Leopard crawled forward.

The tracks gripped the ice.

Slowly, steadily, it made its way up the hill.

Senior Miguel applauded.

“Brilliant driving!”

Salty gave a little salute.

“Years of experience.”

McFinleyyy muttered, “You only started driving this thing yesterday.”

Salty ignored him.

Eventually they arrived safely at Senior Miguel's destination.

He climbed down from the tank.

“Thank you, lads. You saved me!”

Salty nodded.

“That's what we do.”

Senior Miguel turned around.

“And thank you for bringing the ladies home too.”

Salty smiled.

“No problem.”

McFinleyyy climbed out and looked at the Leopard.

“You know, Salty…”

“What?”

“This is probably the strangest taxi service Dublin has ever seen.”

Salty looked at the massive tank.

“Taxi?”

He shook his head.

“No, McFinleyyy.”

He climbed back into the driver's seat.

“This is the Salty Express.”

McFinleyyy laughed.

“Does it accept Leap Cards?”

Salty thought about it.

“No.”

“Cash?”

“No.”

“Card?”

“No.”

“So what does it accept?”

Salty grinned.

“Tea, biscuits and compliments.”

With that, the Leopard 2 roared back into life.

Snow blasted into the air.

The women waved goodbye.

Senior Miguel waved enthusiastically.

And Stg. Salty and McFinleyyy disappeared into the snowy Dublin evening, ready for their next emergency rescue.

Because when the taxis disappear…

When the tacos are gone…

And when Dublin freezes over…

There is only one number to call.

Stg. Salty.

And preferably…

the Leopard 2. 🐆❄️🇮🇪