Episode: Sgt. Salty & Gildig’s Car Hunt Chapter 2 – The Volkswagen Woes

 

Episode: Sgt. Salty & Gildig’s Car Hunt

Chapter 2 – The Volkswagen Woes

Inside Springfield Volkswagen, Sgt. Salty and Gildig Maxwell sat on plastic chairs under a flickering fluorescent light. A dusty “Employee of the Month” plaque hung on the wall, featuring the same formless salesman every month since 1998.

This very same salesman shuffled out, clutching a stack of papers.
“Here’s the, uh… price list,” he wheezed, after keeping them waiting twenty whole minutes.

“FFS…” Salty muttered under his breath. “Twenty minutes for a sheet of paper? My granny could have chiseled it into stone faster.”
Gildig snorted. “Must’ve been printing it from the Stone Age.”

Bored stiff, Salty wandered outside, where another eager salesman cornered him beside a shiny silver Golf.
“This beauty,” the salesman boasted, “gets fantastic fuel economy — just 7 liters per 100km!”

Salty stopped dead, stared at him, then let out a roaring laugh that turned heads in the showroom.
“Seven liters? That’s poor, lad. My tank back in the barracks does better miles per gallon — and it weighs twenty tonnes and shoots missiles!”

“Wheyyyyyyyy!” shouted Gildig from the doorway, nearly choking on a hotdog he’d smuggled in.

The salesman looked rattled. “But… it’s one of our best sellers!”
Salty winked. “Best seller to who? The Amish?”

With that, he clapped Gildig on the back. “Come on lad, let’s find a car that doesn’t need a refuel every trip to the Kwik-E-Mart.”
They left behind a stunned salesman still clutching his brochure, whispering, “But… seven liters…”

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#VolkswagenWoes #EmployeeOfTheMonthMyArse #SgtSaltyVsFuelEconomy #Yummmiezzzz #TankBetterMPG #Wheyyyyyy