Charity Shop Shenanigans – “The Wall of Fame”
After weeks of chaos, Sgt. Salty finally had an idea.
“We need a record,” he declared, tapping the till like it was a typewriter. “A log of all the glorious madness that passes through these doors. A Wall of Fame.”
So, a corkboard was dragged from the back room, dusted off, and nailed above the counter. Susan rolled her eyes, The Govna started scribbling sarcastic captions, and Ye Olde Large Lad sharpened a stack of drawing pins like he was preparing for war.
The first entries included:
-
Medal of Donor Valor Man – forever remembered for demanding gratitude after donating three bags of questionable fashion crimes. His chocolate-coin “medal” now blu-tacked to the board.
-
Ramadan Patel and the Wandering Jeans – immortalised with a sketch of the infamous bootcuts pinned beside a note reading: “Returned twice. Destiny undecided.”
-
The Emotional Support Cat Lady – caught red-handed smuggling 14 ceramic cats under her raincoat. Her entry reads:
“Cats may be free in spirit, but they still cost €2.50 each.”
(Pinned beneath it: a photo of one of the ceramic cats, now proudly on mannequin duty in the window.) Winky vs. Time – after testing every clock radio in the shop to “make sure the universe was still ticking,” his portrait is taped next to a digital watch stuck permanently on 12:00.
-
Large Lad’s Daydreams – a small corner reserved for the heroic medals, knighthoods, and parades he imagines handing out to customers daily.
By the end of the week, the Wall had become the shop’s biggest attraction. Customers would stop mid-browse to read the ridiculous entries, sometimes nervously checking to make sure they weren’t next.
Salty just smirked behind the counter.
“Laugh now,” he said, “but one day this wall will be worth more than all the ceramic cats in Dublin.”
Comments
Post a Comment