Charity Shop Shenanigans – “The Fame, The Shame & The Walk”

 

Charity Shop Shenanigans – “The Fame, The Shame & The Walk”

The Wall of Fame had quickly become legendary, so naturally, it grew legs. Literally. The Govna dragged in two more corkboards:

• The Hall of Shame – for crimes against charity shop decency.

• The Walk of Shame – a special section by the front door, so every customer leaving could see the worst offenders before stepping outside.

First Inductees:

🏅 Wall of Fame (The Glorious Idiots)

• Emotional Support Cat Lady – Still unbeaten. Her cats now form their own “ceramic militia” in the shop window.

• Ramadan Patel’s Jeans – Awarded “Most Traveled Garment 2025.”

• Donor Valor Man – Chocolate coin medal remains pinned, now half-eaten (no one will admit who).

😬 Hall of Shame (The Dark Side of Donations)

• Dirty Underwear Dropper – The crown jewel of shame. A pair of greying boxer shorts stuffed into a donation bag “like a hidden landmine.” Large Lad pinned them (with tongs) inside a plastic sleeve under the title:
  “May they rest in pieces. Do NOT open.”

• Half-Eaten Sandwich in a Handbag – because nothing says generosity like mayo from 2022.

• The Puzzle with Missing Pieces – donated 17 times in one month, always with one piece gone. Rumour says the missing piece lives in the back pocket of Ramadan Patel’s jeans.

🚶 Walk of Shame (Public Humiliation at the Door)

• A big laminated sign reads:
  “Congratulations! You’ve made the Walk of Shame.”
  Below it, photos (crudely drawn by Winky) of offenders marching out:

  • Dirty Underwear Dropper – depicted as a stick figure trailing underpants behind him like a wedding veil.

  • Cat Lady – shown juggling ceramic cats in a raincoat.

  • Donor Valor Man – strutting out with his chocolate coin medal gleaming, captioned: “Still proud, still wrong.”

The customers loved it—half of them came in just to see the newest entry, while the other half prayed they wouldn’t make it up there.

Salty, arms folded behind the counter, declared with military gravitas:
“This is history in the making. One day museums will beg for these boards. But for now—they belong to us, the guardians of nonsense.”