Charity Shop Shenanigans – “Expanding the Boards”
The Wall of Fame, Hall of Shame, and Walk of Shame grew fatter every week, like a gossip column nobody could resist. By now, there were more entries than actual stock on the shelves.
New Inductees Included:
🏅 Wall of Fame
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The 50c Haggler – A man who tried to argue down the price of a paperback from €1 to 50c. His reasoning? “The last page looks suspiciously like it’s been read.” Award: Golden Cheapskate Badge.
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Foreign Coin Lady – Attempted to pay for a Teapot with three Turkish lira, a Canadian quarter, and a button. Winky taped the button to the board with the caption: “Worth more than the all the Tea in China.”
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Umbrella Warrior – Opened every umbrella in the shop “to test them” until the place looked like Mary Poppins had detonated a rainbow bomb. Large Lad nominated him for “Most Likely to Take Flight.”
😬 Hall of Shame
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Dirty Underwear Dropper – Still the reigning champion of disgust.
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The Soggy Shoe Man – Donated a pair of trainers so damp they had their own weather system. Caption: “100% chance of mildew.”
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The Surprise Sock Bag – Looked like a bag of clothes… turned out to be 37 unmatched socks. Not one pair in sight. Rumour says they all escaped from the tumble dryer rebellion.
🚶 Walk of Shame
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The Alarm Clock Tester – Set every clock and alarm in the shop to go off at 3 p.m. simultaneously. He is forever remembered in chalk drawing on the pavement outside: “Tick Tock Terror.”
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Mirror Selfie Guy – Tried on every hat and took selfies in the mirror for 45 minutes before leaving empty-handed. Caption under his doodle: “Influencer without followers.”
The boards became so famous that tourists started asking directions:
“Excuse me, where’s the shop with the underwear shrine?”
Salty just grinned. “Follow the smell of damp trainers and broken dreams.”
⚠️ Disclaimer
All names, events, and underwear disasters have been exaggerated for entertainment purposes. These tales didn’t really happen… or did they? 😏
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