Chapter 3 – Squishee Shenanigans at the Kwik-E-Mart
The Springfield moon hung high as the gents stumbled out of Moe’s, arms around each other, singing a drunken remix of the Monorail Song. Their next stop? The glowing, 24/7 beacon of bad ideas: the Kwik-E-Mart.
“Wheyyyyyy! Late-night snacks!” cheered Salty, kicking open the sliding doors so hard they jammed.
Inside, Apu Nahasapeemapetilon raised an eyebrow.
“Please, do not kick my automatic doors. They are not karate opponents.”
Danny Boy marched straight to the Squishee machine.
“Three large ones, extra syrup!” he declared, eyes glazed like a donut.
Apu smirked. “Ah, gentlemen, you are in luck. We have a new flavor. Limited edition… Radioactive Raspberry with Extra Caffeine.”
The Govna, still wearing his shades indoors, peered at the swirling neon mix. “Looks like Mr. Burns’ bathwater, lads. But we’ll give it a go.”
Salty grabbed a cup, filled it until it overflowed, and held it high.
“Yummmiezzzz!” he roared, foam dripping down his chin. His grin stretched wider than Krusty’s tax lawyer.
Danny Boy chugged half his in one gulp. His pupils dilated, and suddenly he was breakdancing down aisle three, knocking over cans of Buzz Cola.
Splatttttttt! went the display.
The Govna sipped coolly, then shouted, “Destroyizzz! My stomach’s on fire, lads!” and launched into a bizarre story about meeting Space Coyote on a spirit journey.
Apu sighed. “If you break it, you buy it. That includes my sanity.”
By the time they staggered out, the neon cups in hand, Salty looked back with that cheeky grin.
“Best. Squishee. Ever. Wheyyyyyy!”
Hashtags:
#KwikEMartChaos #RadioactiveRaspberry #Yummmiezzzz #SquisheeMadness #Splatttttt #Destroyizzz #SgtSaltyGrin
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