1. A Single Wellington Boot
Not a pair – just one lonely welly. Hastings held it aloft like Excalibur and declared, “Who do they expect to buy this – a pirate hopping home from Aldi?” It still sits in the back room waiting for its missing twin or an adventurous one-legged customer.
2. An Urn (Empty, Thankfully)
We opened a box expecting chipped mugs or bric-a-brac, only to find an ornate urn staring back at us. Thankfully, it was empty. Hastings jumped about a foot in the air before setting it gently down with trembling hands.
3. A Half-Used Bottle of Shampoo
Yes, someone donated shampoo with about a quarter left in it. Hastings raised his eyebrow and said in his driest voice, “Grand so, we’ll put it beside the half-eaten box of Cornflakes and the half-smoked cigarette butts.” Into the bin it went.
4. A Wedding Dress Covered in Mud
It could have been beautiful – white lace, intricate detail – but it was caked in thick brown mud from hem to train. Hastings reckons the bride either did a runner through a bog or fell face-first into the field after a wild reception.
5. A Taxidermy Squirrel Wearing Sunglasses
This one is legendary. A stuffed squirrel with tiny sunglasses glued on. Hastings named him Sir Nutsalot and displayed him behind the till for a week. An eccentric old lady eventually bought him, saying he’d sit proudly on her mantelpiece next to her stuffed badger.
Charity shop life – never dull, often hilarious, and always with Hastings muttering, “What fresh madness today?”
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